Lights and Music
by alicelane
Summary: AU/OOC. Shizuru x Natsuki, naturally. "Once you're at the party, it's hard to leave."
1. Where's Your Head At

A/N: **Unsure of the title. It's from Cut Copy's song of the same name.** **I'll be using some of my favorite house/electro tracks as chapter titles. I'd recommend listening to them to get a feel of the story (or so I'd hope). Anyway, the errors are all mine. And forgive me if the story drags on too much, hehe.**

Disclaimer: **--this thing says it all.**

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**LIGHTS AND MUSIC**

**1. Where's Your Head At (Jean Elan [Klaas remix])**

_**University of Tokyo, Komaba**_

A couple of Literature books were hugged against her chest as Shizuru fumbled her jacket pockets, looking for her car keys. She was on her way to the campus parking lot when a loud roar of a motorcycle engine caught her attention. The engine slowed down to silent hum as the motorcycle, a black and orange Suzuki Hayabusa, was now parked next to where she stood.

Shizuru looked up at the biker as she removed her helmet. A pleased little smile was on the female biker's face as it emerged from the headgear; she had been eyeing this kouhai for a long time since she saw her in class. Sweeping her fringe, the biker strutted towards the girl who was still fishing for her keys.

"Hey, Shizuru."

For a brief moment Shizuru felt hopeful when she heard the sound of the motorcycle heading in her direction. Maybe…Just maybe, she thought. Her heart fluttered incessantly inside her chest, but the sensation abruptly vanished as she looked up to see the biker's face.

"Hello, Lu-san."

_You're not her_, Shizuru thought, now rummaging her bag, still looking for the damned keys. Even though they shared a class together, she had no time for this senpai at all.

"You headed home? I could take you on my bike," the biker suggested, unaware that she was too forward with the girl considering that this was actually their first conversation.

Shizuru smiled politely. "It's all right, Lu-san. I'll be driving my car as soon as I find my keys," she said, gesturing to the attractive coupe nearby.

Anh stepped closer towards her. "Want me to help you find them?" Her voice dropped to a husky whisper.

Shizuru grinned apologetically at her. "Found them," she said as she held the keys to her Nissan GT-R.

As Shizuru turned to unlock her sleek, silver two-seater, Anh grabbed her arm.

"You could have just pretended about not finding them," she whispered close to Shizuru's ear. The girl gingerly removed herself from the biker's tight grasp and unlocked her car.

It was Shizuru's turn to tease. "Why would I do that?" she said with an innocent smile. Before she slipped into the driver's seat, she looked up at the other girl who looked incredulous from the rejection.

"Good day to you, Lu-san." She shut the car door and started the engine. She wanted to go home and call her boyfriend to come over. As she was about to back the car up, a knock on her window caused her to sigh.

She pressed the button to unroll her window. "Yes?"

Anh grinned, recovering from the rejection. "Just call me Anh. And listen," she leaned over the window, closer to Shizuru's face. "Want to come with me to Zhang tonight? We'll have a great time, I promise."

Shizuru shook her head but smiled politely yet again. "I'm sorry, but I already have a date with Reito. I suppose we'll see each other there. Goodbye, Lu-san."

As the car disappeared from sight, Anh Lu chuckled dryly. "See you there, Shizuru."

Meanwhile in the car, Shizuru silently reprimanded herself. _Silly, you thought it was her._

"_Hey, Shi-chan! Get your ass off that chair and dance!"_

_Shizuru shook her head and giggled at Kanzaki Ryuu, one of Reito's rowdy brothers, who was now red-faced and sweaty on the dance floor. She had expected Ryuu and Ren to be just like her boyfriend but she was pleasantly surprised; they were lively and flirty and they definitely liked to party, unlike Reito who was quite reserved and soft-spoken. That was how they ended up at Zhang._

"_Another Daiginjo please," Shizuru ordered her second shot of sake for the night. She opted to stay seated at the bar when the older Kanzaki brothers disappeared to the dance floor. She wasn't too fond of dancing, but she knew later she had to since Haruka would definitely make her. Reito had stayed with her for a while just enjoying the music from the DJ and laughing at the brothers' antics._

_Now Reito was nowhere in sight. He excused himself to mingle in the VIP lounge a bit with Tate Yuiichi who was his fellow kendoka. He invited her to come with him but she told him she'd catch up later. It was still early in the night, and she was waiting for Haruka to arrive. Her gaze lingered at the entrance, and then she saw her._

_Dressed in leather pants, a plain white tee, and Jeffrey Campbell boots, the girl entered the club easily while acknowledging the bouncers. She even argued a bit with the owner of the club and Shizuru watched her as she rolled her green eyes and proceeded to cut her way through the dance floor. Shizuru suddenly had the urge to get up on the dance floor too. She could pretend to be dancing with the Kanzaki brothers and then intercept the girl to dance with her too._

'_Ara, Shizuru what's gotten into you?' she thought breathlessly as she kept her eyes on the girl. All her thoughts of dancing with the girl suddenly faded as she saw her glaring at another girl who tried to dance with her. With an annoyed expression on her face, she entered one of the elevators and disappeared inside._

'_I think it's time to catch up with Reito,' Shizuru thought and got up. She eased her way towards Ryu, who was dancing with a younger girl, and told him that she'd be up at the lounge._

_She took the other elevator and went up to the VIP lounge. She flashed her ID at the bouncer and he stepped aside to let her in._

_There were less people on the fourth internal floor and she easily spotted Reito and Tate talking animatedly and 'a little close together', Shizuru noted. She merely shrugged and made her way towards them._

"_Hello, Shizuru-san. Have a seat. I was just telling Reito about my last kendo match," Tate smiled at her and gestured to the space beside Reito._

"_Ara, I think he should get points from you Tate-kun. He tells me his skills are getting rusty. He spends too much time with me nowadays," Shizuru teased, taking a seat._

_Reito laughed. "I can never get away from my very beautiful girlfriend," he said._

"_Damn right," Tate agreed, looking at Shizuru up and down and giving a low whistle. She was wearing a little white skirt with a fitting Comme Des Garcons top. Beautiful indeed._

_She smiled deviously. "Is that why you left me down there then, Reito?" she teased._

_Tate laughed. Reito's cheeks colored a little (Shizuru pretended not to notice). "I was just joking, Rei-kun," Shizuru giggled. "I'm going to get a drink. Would you like some?" She asked them._

"_Oh no, please. Tate's made me drink too much tonight. You go ahead, Shi-chan. I'll have to go check up on my brothers before they pick up some underage girls," Reito said with a grin._

"_And I'll have to see Mai, too. See you later Reito, Shizuru-san,"_

_As soon as the goodbyes were exchanged, Shizuru passed through the dancing crowd towards the bar and ordered a Fennel Shochu. As she waited, she glanced around the room hoping to find who she was looking for. The music was better here as she found herself nodding to the beat. Turning her eyes to the DJ booth at one corner, she spotted her again._

_A cigarette dangled from her lips as she bent down to the mixers. Straight black hair fell on the front of her white tee and she frowned in focus. After a while she straightened up and took the cigarette from her lips, apparently done with mixing. As the girl took a drag, her green eyes flickered towards the bar and Shizuru looked away discreetly. She could feel warmth crawling up on her cheeks, and turned towards the bar to get her drink._

'_This is crazy. It's a girl for kami's sake! You better behave, Shizuru.' Shizuru shook her head and sipped her drink. She was checking the time and wondering where Haruka was when a voice beside her said,_

"_I'll have a beer please, Midori."_

_Shizuru stiffened a little to hold herself back from looking at the girl, who was apparently the DJ. She was chatting with the bartender. Shizuru turned her head the other way as she felt herself blushing again._

"_Do you like the music?"_

_Shizuru whipped her head towards the girl in surprise, the question was for her. She had a friendly smile on her face that was enough to make Shizuru a pathetic little puddle on the floor._

_She composed herself and took in the catchy beat of the current song. "Ah, yes. It's better than downstairs, I think."_

_The girl laughed triumphantly. "Anh Lu wouldn't like hearing that. Thanks," she tilted her head in such a cute way that Shizuru didn't expect from a girl so aloof._

"_I'm Natsuki by the way," she held out her hand with a smile._

_Shizuru smiled back, very pleased that she was actually talking to her._

"_Shizuru. It's nice to meet you," she held Natsuki's hand longer than she should._

_Natsuki's cheeks colored. Shizuru mentally clapped her hands at this._

"_Lu-san actually shares a class with me," Shizuru said, wanting to prolong the conversation. "That is if she actually shows up."_

_Natsuki scoffed. "Well, she better use that time to come up with more original tracks. Arrogant bitch keeps fucking her way to get shows."_

_Shizuru giggled. "Ara ara, I don't think I want to know who she's sleeping with. I already know too many of them at school."_

_Natsuki chugged her beer and gave her a sideways glance. "I'm surprised she hasn't tried to get in your pants. You're exactly her type. Heck, you're probably anyone's type," she said while not looking at her, trying to hide her red cheeks._

_Shizuru's heart leapt._

_She played it cool though. "Oh she's tried to," she explained. "She thinks staring at me in class all day is enough to work."_

_Then she brought out the big guns. "But really, does that mean I'm your type too?" she said with a teasing grin._

_Natsuki gulped her beer and took another swig, cheeks completely red. "To be honest, yes." She gazed at Shizuru to prove it._

_Shizuru was breathless. She didn't know how to respond to a girl. She hadn't thought about having a 'type' of girl, but Natsuki would be perfect. She finished her drink a little quickly and she started to feel heady and warm all over._

_Natsuki ordered another beer and smiled at her shyly._

"_I'm sorry, it must the alcohol talking…" she tried to explain._

"_No, it's okay. I just…You're probably my type too," Shizuru confessed. "I've never been with a girl before." She had a curious look in her eyes._

_Natsuki drank her beer silently for a while, glancing at her a few times._

"_Would you like to try?"_

_Natsuki's voice was low as she brought her lips close to her ear. Shizuru shuddered and held back a gasp, surprised at her own desire forming warmth on her cheeks and in her stomach. Oh, would she like to try! She'd love to, but she had a boyfriend and—_

_She didn't have time to say anything as she was dragged by the hand towards the bathrooms. As soon as they got inside, a pair of hands gripped her waist and pushed her against the counter. She gasped and Natsuki's lips pressed firmly against her own. Shizuru felt her nipples stiffen against the fabric of her bra. Hands gripped her hips tightly, inching down on her butt as she kissed her furiously._

_Shizuru whimpered as Natsuki groped her butt beneath her skirt. She was lifted up on the counter and she wrapped her arms around Natsuki's neck and her thighs around her waist. She moaned when Natsuki bit her lower lip before she nudged her face on her neck. She lifted her chin and allowed her to nip at her skin lightly. She could feel Natsuki's hot lips travel up her neck towards hear ear and kiss it. She had never felt this way with Reito. No, she had never felt so turned on in her life._

_The muffled beats vibrating around the room came to a stop, but neither of them noticed. Shizuru held Natsuki's face and they kissed torridly again. She felt her hands on her breasts, caressing her through her blouse. Her breathing hitched and she gasped as Natsuki's hands trailed beneath her top and reached her aching breasts, pushing the lace of her bra down to stroke erect nipples. The DJ moaned as she felt herself growing wet from feeling the gorgeous girl in front of her._

"_I want you so bad," she whispered lowly in Shizuru's ear, making the other girl only nod, too flustered to speak. Her fingers tickled her thighs now, making their way to Shizuru's aching center._

_The bathroom door creaked open. "Natsuki, you in here? The songs stopped you baka, didn't you—"_

_Nao Zhang stopped abruptly as she watched the two girls hastily adjust their clothes with flushed faces._

_The owner of the club seethed. "Fuck, Kuga! What the fuck are you doing?!"_

_--_

_Several moments later, Shizuru now stood outside the club. She wanted to go home. She found out that Haruka arrived shortly after she went to the VIP lounge. She hung around the Kanzaki brothers on the ground floor, and the three of them were now very tipsy. Only Shizuru and Reito were sober._

_Haruka was clinging to Ren, red-faced and giggling. "Shizuruuu, where were you? We were having sooo much fun!"_

"_Ara, Haruka-chan you've drank too much. Yukino-chan won't be pleased. I'm driving you home now." Shizuru took Haruka's arm and said goodbye to Reito who was dragging his brothers towards his car._

"_You better come back here, you little shit! I don't have anyone else to DJ in the lounge!" Nao Zhang looked furious clenching her fists near the entrance as she yelled at Natsuki who was striding purposefully towards the parking lot. Shizuru stopped momentarily to watch the scene._

_Natsuki didn't even bother to reply. She grabbed her helmet and put it on before she swung a leg over her Ducati and started the engine._

_Unfortunately, Shizuru was a little far away for her to be noticed. She sighed. Opening the passenger door of her car, she gently pushed Haruka inside, and then made her way to the driver's side._

_A motorbike suddenly approached as she slid into her seat. Shizuru looked up to see Natsuki who lifted her visor and stared at her._

"_See you around, Shizuru."_

_She smiled a little sadly. "You better."_

After passing the tumultuous metro of Shibuya, she drove with ease as she arrived in her neighborhood. The narrow streets of Daikanyama allowed her to ponder, albeit rather guiltily. For the past few weeks, her mind had easily slipped from thoughts of her boyfriend to thoughts of having a girlfriend instead.

A week after that incident, she went back to the club. She even planned her outfit carefully. _Hot damn_, was all Haruka had said, and Yukino smiled approvingly; she went to Haruka and Yukino's apartment for a while (a building apart from hers) to unwind before proceeding to Zhang. But she was very disappointed to find that another DJ was at the booth. While she sipped her drink at the bar, a girl with short black hair tried to chat her up. She was rather handsome and her name was Hallard Chie, and she personally knew the owner of the club.

"_Akira's really good, isn't she? She can really bring a party. I attended one of her events when I was in Chiba," said Chie while taking a swig from her bottle._

_Shizuru seized the opportune moment. "Do you know where the other DJ is?" she asked Chie casually._

_Chie eyed her with playful suspicion, "You're not one of her fangirls, are you?"_

_Shizuru giggled. "Ara, the DJ actually has fangirls?"_

_Chie shrugged, also laughing. "You better believe it. I'm actually her manager."_

"_That's awesome." Shizuru nodded at this new information. "So what happened?"_

"_All I'm saying is that she had a serious argument with Nao Zhang, the owner of this club. So she quit, and I saw no problem with it. I know other clubs are dying to have her anyway." Chie said. Shizuru tried not to look like she already knew._

"_Oh. Were they…you know? Was Zhang-san her girlfriend?" she asked hesitantly. Chie raised her eyebrow at her._

"_Oi, you sure you aren't a fangirl?" Shizuru laughed and convincingly shook her head 'no'._

_Chie seemed to fall for it. "No way were they together. That girl is damn picky," she said. "She even picks out her flings carefully. Kuga Natsuki doesn't do relationships."_

_Shizuru's face faltered just a little bit. After learning that 'Kuga Natsuki' had quit playing at the club, she hadn't come back since._


	2. Keep This Fire Burning

A/N: **Thanks to those who reviewed! And also to those who put the story on alert, though I'd be really happy if you tell me what you think and send a review as well (pretty please?) hehe.**

**i also recommend checking out a clip of the very busy Shibuya crossing which will be mentioned in this chapter. i just love the Tokyo atmosphere-- you'll see fashionable people everywhere! so i'd like to think that the characters in the story are stylish as well :)**

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**LIGHTS AND MUSIC**

**2. Keep This Fire Burning (Outsiders [freemasons edit])**

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**Hillside Terrace Complex**

_**Daikanyama, Shibuya**_

"I really missed doing this with you, you know?" She said as she loosely draped her arms around his neck.

He smiled smugly and kissed the side of her face and the spot below her ear. "I missed this too," he said.

"Mmm..." a delicious moan followed by a giggle, "that tickles, Reito!"

They were on the plush white sofa comfortably cuddling. As far as she was concerned, it was a little too comfortable for her current libido. With a little groan she grabbed his hands and put them on her waist in attempt to get him moving a bit faster, but Reito simply let his hands rest right where she put them. She frowned in their kiss and fidgeted.

He was laughing now. "You're squirming too much,"

A pout and a poke in the chest. "That's because you're being a tease, bastard."

Reito flashed a dashing smile and feigned innocence. "Whatever do you mean?"

A huff later, shoulders were grabbed to continue their little make-out session but things stopped abruptly as Reito's cell phone rang and echoed in the vast lounge room of the trendy space.

"Oh, it's Tate-kun! I have to answer this, excuse me Shi-chan."

A very flustered Fujino Shizuru let out an irritated sigh as she watched Reito disappear into the adjacent room. Just as she thought things between her and Reito were getting better (as the heavy petting was getting just _a tad_ hotter), Tate Yuuichi had to steal her boyfriend away yet again with his constant phone calls. Shizuru thought it was insulting that Reito, her boyfriend of more than three years (and whom everybody called to be her "high school sweetheart"), would abandon his total babe of a girlfriend in the middle of their make-out session to answer a phone call from a _guy_. Though she supposed that it was better that it was not a girl.

_Oh well,_ she thought with a shrug. _We were getting boring anyway_. She had invited him over to her apartment and had wanted to prove that they were still 'fun' despite how long they'd been a couple. She could hear Reito's hearty laugh in the other room. _He's having fun, all right, but apparently not with me,_ Shizuru thought dejectedly.

It wasn't exactly heartbreaking for her. She was just sad and a little disappointed. Her relationship with Reito had been one of the few _real _things in her life. One of those things was her flat that she thought had been a godsend. She had acquired it over the summer after her parents finally let their little princess go her own way for college. No more absurd curfews, impatient chauffeurs, unexciting family business meetings, and her parents' tight watch over their daughter. They had raised her to be the perfect _yamato nadeshiko_, complete with all the trimmings of a company branch awaiting her when she finished college, and the inevitable _omiai_. The latter didn't bother her much since she had been arranged with Reito who was her childhood friend. Yet she knew that her seemingly perfect relationship with Reito was most likely coming to an end soon.

It was getting dreary these days. Both go to Tokyo U, memorized each other's schedules, and had lunch together everyday. Wasn't that supposed to be perfect? Yes, it was. But in Shizuru's life things always had a way of getting too perfect. To the point of dullness. Reito felt that way too, she surmised that much. In fact he could very well be the male version of her. Wealthy upbringing? Check. Patrician features? Check. A mastery of a classical instrument? Check. Tea addiction? Check. Reserved movements? Double check that; reserved enough to not even have sex with each other in the three years they had been together.

Despite all that, she had always felt it was good enough. It gave her steadiness in her life. He always supported her as she did him. Reito was her best friend whom she could talk to about absolutely anything. Relatively, they had the same misgivings about family, school, and the near future. They had almost everything in common. They had the same circle of friends. They could be siblings, really.

.

"_Well?" _

_Shizuru peered at Reito nervously, expecting an angry reply. All she was met with was a pondering smile from the guy._

"_How was it?" her boyfriend said with mischief. Shizuru couldn't believe her eyes._

"_Reito? I'm telling you that I practically cheated on you that night at the club, and you're asking me how it was?" She said incredulously._

"_Do you want me to be angry?" He chuckled. "I hardly call it cheating. You said she came on to you, isn't that right? And you were probably a little drunk," Reito said matter-of-factly. He took her hand in his._

"_Only a little…" Shizuru mumbled guiltily. She could not believe what a good boyfriend Reito was._

_He laughed lightly. "Hey, don't make it sound like you made such a big mistake. Yes, I am a little jealous," he added. "The only thing I'm sad about was how I didn't get to see it."_

_Shizuru gaped at him and slapped his shoulder. "Hentai!" she laughed along with Reito._

"_It would be a different story though, if it was a guy. But I know you would never betray me that way, Shi-chan."_

_Shizuru nodded genuinely with a smile. Then her thoughts went back to the time when she went to see Reito's kendo practice. She saw him talking closely with Tate and his hand was on the other guy's shoulder._

" _So, are there any accidental drunken kisses between you and Tate-kun that I should know about?" she teased without a hint of embarrassment._

"_SHIZURU!" Reito went crimson._

_Shizuru giggled uncontrollably at her own slyness._

_._

Shizuru was shaking her head out of her thoughts as Reito entered the lounge apparently done with the phone call. He grinned sheepishly at her as he seated himself next to her on the sofa. She smiled knowingly at him.

"Don't tell me. You're going off to a date with Tate-kun again, I know that look," she teased him.

"It most certainly isn't a date! Tate-kun merely asked me a favor to spar with him tomorrow. He has a tournament next month," he said as he furrowed his eyebrows in a defensive manner.

Shizuru giggled. "Ara, so defensive! The little blush on your cheeks tells a different story though." She tapped at his tinted cheeks mischievously.

Reito playfully sulked. "Must you tease me with such absurd notions, Shi-chan?"

"Absurd? What's so absurd about a date with the handsome kendoka?" She laughed light-heartedly.

If Reito didn't know any better he would think that his girlfriend actually approved of it. He laughed along with her knowing that she would only tease him endlessly unless he changed the subject.

"Well then, what was that I hear from Haruka about Anh Lu inviting you for a night at Zhang later?"

Shizuru didn't even flush. "I turned her down. I simply can't stand a show-off like her." She pursed her lips.

Reito nodded in agreement. "She certainly is. You'd think she'd be more well-mannered given that her parents are just like ours," he said. "But you do have plans tonight, right?"

"Yes. I'm going to Zhang with Haruka. I suppose Yukino will come along too, if Haruka can persuade her. It's been a long while since we've been there," Shizuru told him, referring to the time they took Reito's brothers on a night out. "And you, Rei-kun? Will you come?"

Reito shrugged. "I believe I have to. Anh Lu might try to snatch you away."

Shizuru just smiled. "Then I have to keep an eye on you too. I remember Mai-san mentioning that Tate-kun will be there as well," she teased back.

There was an uncharacteristic silence. They usually bantered playfully and endlessly. And Reito was not the more silent one. When no immediate reply was heard, she eyed Reito questioningly.

"It is funny, Shi-chan," Reito started, surprisingly on a serious note as he turned his head to view Shizuru directly. He had a lopsided smile on his lips. "We have never had a fight. We never get jealous over other people. We get along too well," he said as he held her hand. There was no spark, no fire. Only warmth was felt between their linked hands. "I'm afraid I've never told you that I loved you, huh?" He laughed a little nervously as he averted his eyes. All the while, Shizuru's eyebrows lifted at her boyfriend's odd behavior. However, it was not long that it slowly dawned on Shizuru.

She nudged gently at his chin for him to look at her. Reito was a little surprised to see her smile knowingly at him. "Is this because I mentioned Mai-san?"

Reito gave a small, restrained smile as he dropped his gaze. He had not done anything wrong, no. Shizuru seemed to acknowledge this.

She slipped her fingers through his, silently assuring him that she _knew_, but that it was okay.

_**.**_

_**Shibuya Crossing**_

Haruka's Paradiso Girls CD was bumping through the speakers of her huge-ass Lexus SUV, and Shizuru smiled while listening to the lyrics that fitted Haruka quite nicely. Yukino pulled the car to a stop as the red light glowed ominously overhead. Pedestrians scrambled through the teeming junction. The stop would take a short while. Yukino agreed to be the driver for tonight. She was the one who most likely would not drink over the alcohol limit for driving. The fact that Yukino had agreed to come, however, was an accomplishment in itself.

Haruka especially had thanked her profusely for it.

"_I promise I won't get too drunk, Yukino dear. I know clubbing isn't your thing but I'll make sure you'll have your fun tonight too," Haruka was given a well-earned blush from Yukino._

Profusely _indeed_.

"You better not go all Bubuzuke-onna on me tonight, Shizuru. You have the perfect excuse to drink and I won't have you drinking tea in that place," Haruka huffed.

Shizuru replied with a laugh. "I don't think they have tea in there." Haruka scowled at her. Shizuru continued, "I don't need excuses to drink, Haruka-chan. And what do you mean by that anyway?"

"Aren't you upset at all that Reito broke up with you?"

Shizuru sighed, more out of bother than of sadness. "He didn't break up with me, Haruka. We both ended it. We were getting monotonous, we both felt that way."

Haruka raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure that's the reason he broke up with you?"

"It was a joint decision, Haruka. Why does it seem like you want him to be responsible? I hope you weren't planning on confronting him." Shizuru mused. Confrontation went to a whole other level when it came to Haruka.

"I wasn't even thinking about it…" Haruka mumbled somewhat guiltily. She turned to face Shizuru again. "But I bet there's another reason why you _jointly_ decided to break up."

Shizuru giggled at Haruka's doubtful tone. "I know it's hard to believe that after so long it just had to come to an end. But it was a peaceful end, I think."

"Why don't you just spill it, Bubuzuke." Haruka said knowingly.

Shizuru thought about it for a while.

"_Well_?"

"I'll show you when we get to Zhang. I think he's already there. He could probably explain it to you himself."

As the green light shone above Yukino put the car in motion again. Dodging a few scampering pedestrians, she said, "Who did he go with?"

"He went with Tate-kun."

Yukino glanced curiously at Haruka who suddenly had a peculiar expression on her face.

Shizuru stared outside the window at the numerous shops as they went past the Shibuya 109 building and sped through the street to the Dougenzaka Love Hotel Hill area.

She felt a pang of disappointment as she recalled that Natsuki had quit Zhang, and that she would not be seeing her tonight. It had been a while since she had been at the place but she never forgot their steamy (but rudely interrupted) encounter. She scowled at the thought of Nao Zhang.

"_Why don't you take this…lady outside? We have to talk," Nao spat angrily at Natsuki, but she was careful not to offend Shizuru who was a VIP._

_Shizuru adjusted her top awkwardly. Natsuki growled but before she could speak, Shizuru said with a lingering gaze, "I have to go now." And she walked out of the bathroom leaving the two inside. She stood outside the door cautiously, cheeks still warm from their actions a little while ago. She could hear them arguing inside._

"_You sure know how to pick 'em, Kuga," Nao jeered. "You even forgot to manage the songs properly."_

"_I'm sorry, okay? I just forgot for a while, that's all." Natsuki sounded like she was gritting her teeth._

"_No wonder you love the VIP lounge, huh?" Nao continued. "To score rich girls like her. I thought I was paying you enough for that." She laughed with sarcasm._

"_Damnit, Nao! It wasn't like that at all!"_

"_Oh really? Perhaps I've been underpaying you…Shall I make it up to you?" The sound of heels clicked inside the bathroom and Shizuru could imagine Nao Zhang approaching Natsuki. A surge of jealousy grew in her chest._

"_Would you quit that? Is that all you ever fucking think about?!" Natsuki raised her voice._

_Shizuru could take no more. She stormed her way downstairs and went to look for her companions._

She snapped away from her thoughts as she saw the large building that was their destination. The only indication of it as a nightclub were the small, wrought-iron, stylized letters of ZHANG near the entrance.

After Yukino had successfully found a parking space in at the club's crammed parking lot, the three of them straightened up their outfits before heading towards the building. Its high walls had a bare white exterior and looked totally nondescript. As they paid the 3500-yen door charge, the large flashing LED screen on the wall beside the entrance caught Shizuru's eye.

PLAYING YOUR FAVORITE HOUSE TRACKS LIVE: DJ KUGA IS BACK AT ZHANG SUPERCLUB


	3. Magic

A/N: **Thanks again for the wonderful reviews. This is a pretty long one, and I apologize if I don't cut to the chase with Shizuru/Natsuki scenes right away. **

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**LIGHTS AND MUSIC  
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**3. Magic (Ladyhawke)**

_You came to my show_

_And I saw you in the crowd_

_I didn't know your name_

_I asked all my friends who you were and your story_

_They told me the same_

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**ZHANG**

_**Dougenzaka, Shibuya**_

**22:00**

A Klaas remix pumped though the vast room as the DJ finished adjusting the controllers in tune to the song. The atmosphere was alive with the intoxicating stench of alcohol and smoke. It was already very crowded tonight. The DJ scanned her eyes up on the second and third internal floors, the ledges nearly brimming with the young Tokyo elite, dancing to her music, drinking pricey liquor, and most certainly popping pills.

Deep green eyes were framed in a glare as she lined up a few songs on the laptop placed beside the turntables. She didn't feel like mixing at all tonight as she was assigned to play on the ground floor of the club where many wealthy, barely-legal debutantes frolicked. They danced and flirted shamelessly with her up on her booth, where they weren't supposed to. She fixed her eyes on the glass walls of the fourth internal floor that housed the VIP lounge.

She preferred the VIP lounge where her friends and other young professionals would be unwinding to the upbeat house tracks she played for them. She wasn't a fan of strictly mingling with other people but at least at the VIP floor she could be with people she personally knew.

Of course she liked the incredibly easy way she could get chicks, and DJ-ing at this hot superclub made it effortless. But high school girls (fangirls) didn't interest her. She' felt she was being mocked from the way they'd invite her to their penthouses and flashed their daddy's credit cards in her face. She had toiled her way to the top unlike these girls who had everything as soon as they were born.

To really put it simply, she just wanted to get to the VIP lounge where she would meet more worldly women. Possibly one that had a lovely Kyoto accent and deep, unforgettable crimson eyes…

.

"_Hey, guys," she greeted the bouncers and bumped fists. A sticker-laden laptop was held in her right hand._

_She shrugged off her leather jacket and stepped inside the already packed club. The ground floor DJ tonight was a guest; a cocky college senior from Tokyo U that Natsuki disliked. She was an amateur DJ and her name was Anh Lu. As far as Natsuki was concerned, the other girl's skills were not the reason she got to play at Tokyo's hottest club. She was sleeping with Nao Zhang, a thought Natsuki found distasteful._

_She grimaced at the thought of having to go through the dance floor before she could reach the elevators to the fourth floor where she usually played. Bracing herself, she clutched her laptop in hand and tried to walk through the crowd. Just then, the owner of the club stepped in front of her._

"_What took you so long, Kuga?" Nao asked, handing her a drink._

_Natsuki declined it. "I was editing a few tracks for tonight," she explained. "So, you think that Anh Lu chick's any good?" She asked with a smirk, glancing at the DJ booth where Anh Lu was hunched over the mixers._

"_In bed? Yeah, she is."_

_Natsuki curled her lip in disgust. "That's not what I meant. Jeez."_

_Nao grinned. "She did bring a lot of her classmates tonight. So it's fine. She plays all right," she said offhandedly._

_Natsuki rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right."_

_She cut her way past Nao and pressed through the crowd. Most of them were very well-dressed socialites. One of them tried to dance with her and she glared at the girl. Leaving the girl to shrug and move on, Natsuki entered the elevators. She passed through two more floors which were moderately crowded with more laid-back patrons sitting at tables and generally just chilling._

_Finally she reached the VIP lounge. She said hi to several people including her manager Chie who was with her girlfriend Senoh Aoi, sitting on a black leather couch near the DJ booth. Then she plugged in her laptop near the mixers and loaded up her playlist._

_She faded off the pre-recorded song that was playing and slipped in her remix of a Ladyhawke track. Then she turned to the mixers and played the synth breaks. She jammed a joint between her lips and lit it. More people were up from their seats now, and she nodded her head to the song as she fingered the bass control._

_She was totally in her element now. She loved the feeling of making people enjoy the night with her music, to let them leave their problems at the door and have fun. She would never dance herself, as she liked it better when she was the one making people dance. She considered it as her biggest achievement when Chie found her and she got the job from Nao, annoying as she was, though she was thankful. It had remarkably made her previously fucked up life better. At the thought, she took a deep drag from her cigarette as she worked._

_To her side where Chie and Aoi were sitting (and secretly groping), Natsuki saw Chie eyeing a girl who just entered the lounge. She followed Chie's line of sight and found herself staring at a girl with dark blonde hair tied at the back of her head. Her fringe was hanging a little over her deep red eyes, and Natsuki tried to catch them. The girl looked like she just stepped out of Harajuku, with her lacy short skirt with pink trims, a fitting designer top, and ankle boots. The DJ was momentarily distracted by the sight._

_She was approaching two guys who remained seated, one of whom Natsuki knew. Tate Yuuchi, who was her good friend Mai's ex-boyfriend, was chatting with a well-dressed guy with black hair. The girl sat beside the guy. Natsuki sighed._

"_Great. She has a boyfriend," Natsuki grumbled, turning back to her laptop._

_Chie heard this and laughed. "She's off-limits, Natsuki. I hear from Tate that they've been together for a long time. Too bad for you," Chie tutted._

"_But she is hot, isn't she? Damn, I'd like to tap that ass myself," Chie added, her alcohol-addled brain briefly forgetting Aoi, who was now fuming. _

_Aoi hit Chie's chest with a fist. "Shut up! I am so leaving," she attempted to get up. Chie grabbed her hips and set her back down on her lap._

"_Sorry, babe. I was kidding! You know I love you…"_

_Natsuki sighed and shook her head at the quarrelling couple. _

_She turned her eyes back to the girl and watched her cross her glorious legs. She was conversing with the two guys, and her hand was on her boyfriend's knee. Natsuki turned her eyes away from this and went on to busy herself with her laptop, setting up a short playlist; she didn't feel like mixing all of a sudden, and she pre-set the songs to play on their own instead. Although she drank a little at home before coming to the club, she decided she needed another one. Taking one last drag, she ashed out her joint, her eyes glancing at the bar. The sight made her previous hope flicker back again._

_It was just her luck; the stunning girl was at the bar. By herself._

_Hiding a grin, Natsuki checked the playlist again. It was still good for a few songs. Stepping down from the booth, she made her way to the bar very casually._

_Leaning over the counter and pretending not to notice the girl nearby, she greeted the bartender. "I'll have a beer please, Midori," she said._

_Midori grinned while reaching under the counter for a bottle. "I love this song you're playing, Na-chan! The original song's a personal favorite but your remix version is good." She handed Natsuki a beer._

_Natsuki smiled, still noting the girl beside her with peripheral vision. "Thanks, Midori. I'm glad the bartender's enjoying too."_

_Midori now turned to another patron to take his order. Natsuki took a seat on the barstool next to the girl and faced the dance floor. She chided herself to keep it cool._

"_Do you like the music?" she asked, cocking her head towards the girl who was sipping a sophisticated drink._

_The girl seemed a little shocked that the question was directed at her._

_"Ah, yes. It's better than downstairs, I think," was what she said. Natsuki kept herself from smiling at the girl's pretty accent._

_Natsuki never imagined that she would actually be kissing, touching this girl moments later. But that's exactly what happened. Until Nao showed up, of course._

_--_

"_Would you quit that? Is that all you ever fucking think about?!" Natsuki raised her voice moments later after Shizuru walked out of the bathroom. Nao was hitting on her. Again._

"_I don't need this type of 'raise', Nao! I am not like that Anh Lu chick you're fucking." Natsuki was annoyed. She hated it when Nao hit on her. She was torn between pissing off her employer and playing along so she could keep the job._

_Nao only rolled her eyes. "You're frustrating me, you know? Just think of it as a little job perk—"_

"_Look, I'm sorry I forgot to do my job out there, but I don't need this. I'm giving you lots of customers already Nao!"_

_Nao looked pissed off. "Fine! You think you're such a hot-shot already, I could fire you for all I care!"_

_Natsuki was furious. She knew that Nao was just drunk (and probably jealous) but she just couldn't take shit from anybody._

_She threw her arms up. "Fine by me. I've got a gig at Womb anyway. I'm quitting."_

_The other girl was stunned. "Wait, I didn't mean that—"_

_But Natsuki was already out the door. She strode across the dance floor towards her manager, still arguing with Aoi. They looked up at her seething form questioningly._

"_I just quit. I'm going to another club," Natsuki said with a shrug. Then she grabbed her laptop from the booth and stormed towards the elevators, leaving Chie scowling at Nao who followed close behind._

_When Natsuki exited the club, she saw Shizuru with her boyfriend and a few other people. She chastised herself for hitting on her; the girl had a fucking boyfriend already. This made her angrier as she paced towards her motorbike and slipped on her jacket._

_"You better come back here, you little shit! I don't have anyone else to DJ in the lounge!" Nao yelled at the entrance. Mounting her bike, Natsuki chose to ignore it. She was scanning the parking lot instead. She found Shizuru parting with her boyfriend and stepping inside her car. She revved up the bike's engine and rode quickly towards the vehicle._

_As soon as she got there, she lifted her visor up and stared at her. She didn't know what to say. She felt like giving out her number, but the thought of Shizuru's boyfriend stopped her. The girl was looking up at her, almost hopeful, Natsuki thought._

"_See you around, Shizuru." It was lame. Kuga Natsuki was lame._

"_You better," Shizuru smiled at her. _

_Suddenly Natsuki wasn't lame at all._

.

Brushing off a girl who tapped at her shoulder offering her a sip of her drink, green eyes maintained the irritated frown while looking intently at the entrance of the club. _Where the fuck are you Nao?_ she grumbled silently, waiting for the club owner to arrive. Although she had only started her set just now, she grew impatient and wanted to quit early tonight. As soon as she spotted red hair emerging from the entrance, she told the girls lingering at the DJ booth to get down.

She made her way through the jam-packed dance floor to Nao Zhang, who was now downing a shot at the bar. The DJ was completely ignoring the clubbers trying to dance with her.

"OH MY GOD it's HER!!"

"Hey, DJ Kuga!"

"_Sugooooii_!"

Before any of them followed her, Natsuki reached the redhead quickly and stood beside her, effectively thwarting her admirers from coming any closer. They recognized the owner of the club and feared getting thrown out for harassing the DJ. Nao gazed at said DJ questioningly.

"What's up, Kuga? Why aren't you at your booth?" she nearly shouted over the blazing music.

Natsuki grit her teeth. "Why am I down _here_? I'm supposed to be up top, Zhang! I can't stand these chicks always getting up on the damn booth!"

Nao Zhang only grinned at her. "Oh my, Kuga's actually not enjoying girls now?" she snickered. Natsuki growled at her.

"That's exactly why I put you down here. See?" She continued, gesturing towards the packed dance floor. "You're the main attraction. I've never seen the place so crowded! The bouncers are practically beating off—"

"Put me back up, Nao," Natsuki cut her off. "You know I hate it down here." She leaned over the counter and waved to one of the bartenders.

Nao sighed defeatedly as she trailed a finger along Natsuki's shirt collar. "It's getting hard to say no to you, Kuga," she whispered closely. "But let's have a fair trade, shall we?" Bright green eyes hazily stared at Natsuki's own as Nao brushed the DJ's shoulders suggestively.

Natsuki glared at her. _Not again! Fuck this._ She squirmed uneasily as she pushed off Nao's hands.

"What'll it be, Natsuki?" Takumi stood behind the counter sensing Natsuki's awkward situation. She smiled at him appreciatively for saving her from Nao's obvious intentions.

"Johnnie Walker black, Takumi. Straight up," Natsuki answered.

Takumi nodded as he served up the shot. He gazed at Natsuki and just realized that his friend was out of place. As he slid the drink over the counter to her, he asked, "Why aren't you at the VIP floor, Natsuki? And what was that with Zhang-san?"

Natsuki pursed her lips and jabbed her thumb in the direction of Nao who was reaching over the counter to grab herself a beer. The girl saw the exchange and glared at the pair of them.

Natsuki gulped down her scotch. "She placed me here to attract more customers. Seemed to forget how cold and anti-social I am, I think. I'd only drive them away," she said cynically. Takumi laughed as he poured her another shot. "You should be up there in the booth, Takumi," she went on. "God knows you're the only one who can handle all these snooty clubbers while DJ-ing."

Takumi shook his head with a chuckle. "Akira-chan would not like it though. That's why I prefer to bartend. The counter effectively keeps the more bothersome patrons at bay." He took an order from a dapper young man who appraised Natsuki appreciatively (she glared at him). "Besides," Takumi continued, "a lot of people go here because of you. Akira even admitted that much." He added the last bit almost sheepishly. Akira was one of the hippest DJs from Chiba but had yet to establish her name in Tokyo. She sometimes played at Zhang when she was in town.

After chugging her beer, Nao spoke up. "That's what I said, Kuga. Ever since I put you here, business has been remarkably better. Not everyone can get in VIP to experience your music, y'know."

Natsuki rolled her eyes. "This club is already the hottest thing in Tokyo even without me. Just let me up already! This isn't my crowd." She said heatedly. She knocked back another shot and stared at Nao unwaveringly.

Natsuki was wrong, Nao thought. Before, Zhang had been steadily earning as a posh club. Only when Natsuki came did Zhang really made a name for itself in all of Tokyo. Ever since that night a few months ago, Nao had successfully earned back the capital she used to purchase the building, and had kept earning generously from then on.

She was scared of the possibility of Natsuki leaving the club, a feat the DJ had already done. This was her third night on the job ever since she quit, and Nao sensed she was not liking her comeback. The club owner only put her on the ground floor to mark her comeback. On the first night Natsuki came back to Zhang, a mobile phone company sponsored the event. The door charges were doubled, but cell phone users of the sponsor's brand went in for free. That's how _good_ she was. Nao was ecstatic that night and had wanted to gain more income from the DJ's talent; that's how Natsuki ended up here on the ground floor. Presently, Nao realized that this was actually a very bad idea.

Nao pursed her lips. She also remembered that she and Natsuki had just settled their previous argument and had just become friends again. She climbed over the bar and ducked behind it, clutching her cell phone. Natsuki watched smugly. She asked Takumi for an ashtray as she lit her cigarette happily.

"Akira? Can you hear me? Listen, I'm letting Kuga up. I said I'm letting Kuga—what?! What do you mean you aren't at the VIP lounge?!" Nao stood from her crouched position and looked around. At the far end of the bar she found Akira leaning over the counter right in front of Takumi who looked very pleased. Nao fumed.

"Good God, I'm paying you people too much and this is how you repay me by abandoning your posts!" Nao grumbled. Natsuki only laughed and took a drag from her joint. Akira paid no mind since she had leaned over the counter to kiss Takumi, bending up one leg for leverage as she reached his lips, lifting up a high-heeled boot. The scene made Nao huff as she gazed fleetingly at Natsuki, silently wishing she could do that to her too. She immediately brushed off the thought as she realized that it was the reason why Natsuki quit before.

Natsuki ashed out her cigarette and turned to Nao. "Thanks. And don't ever put me down here again."

"Yeah, whatever. Just go do your job, all right, or I'll have a word with Hallard," Nao shooed her away. "And you, Akira! Get up on that booth already. The song's about to end!"

Natsuki nudged her way through the crowd again towards the elevators. As she ascended, she checked her phone and read a text message from Chie that said: "Hurry and get your ass up here. People are enjoying you too much down there."

Natsuki grinned. The doors opened to the place where she wanted to be all night. As she entered the lounge, the songs from below were completely muffled; the VIP room had its own DJ booth and a bar managed tonight by her good friend Tokiha Mai. Black leather sofas and plush seats lined the walls of the room. LED lights flew across the walls in every direction. One wall was of glass and offered a view of the lower floors. The room vibrated with a complicated electro track **(1)** that Akira specialized in, quite different from the body-pumping music below.

She looked around as she made her way further in. She recognized several people, nodding her acknowledgments and saying hi. The room was only a bit crowded, as she spotted her manager on one of the sofas with her girlfriend Aoi.

"Hey Natsuki! Come over," Chie hollered at her, slurring heavily.

"Drunk already, Chie?" Natsuki chortled as she approached the couple.

"Ha-ha, Natsuki. I was wondering when you'd come back here. The place was getting too crazy with Akira. She played these really insane electro beats that I couldn't understand," Chie stumbled over her words. "Until I scored some from that Ahn Lu chick…" she trailed off as Aoi playfully slapped Chie's hand that started to crawl underneath her skirt. Natsuki laughed dryly as she noticed that they both faintly smelled of weed.

"Speaking of, I gotta man the mixers for a bit. Are you staying here for long?" she asked them.

"Sure, sure. We'll just be here. I'm too stoned to walk around…" Chie muttered.

"All right, take it easy, both of you." With that, Natsuki headed for the DJ booth at the corner of the room, drink in hand.

Slipping her headphones on, she faded Akira's song into a strings break and followed it up with a steady beat. People got up from their seats and started to crowd the area in front of the booth and danced. She played a Bob Taylor song **(2)** that was a personal favorite of hers. She lit a cigarette and continued to finger the mixer while nodding her head to the music. She looked up to see Chie and Aoi also standing up along with the other patrons.

Natsuki laughed as she saw Chie's mystified expression as she just stood there and gazed hungrily at Aoi, who deliciously danced up on her, bumping their bodies deliberately.

Taking a drag from her cig, she lined up another song from the laptop. The room suddenly looked alive with everybody moving and having a blast. After a few songs, Natsuki lined up several more and made a playlist so she could join her friends again.

--

"Shizuru, come on! What are you staring at?" Holding Yukino's hand, Haruka turned back around and stared at Shizuru whose gaze was fixed on the LED screen.

Shizuru collected herself and smoothed a hand down her belted Iceberg minidress. "Never mind. Let's go," she said, taking her eyes away from the screen and followed her friends nervously inside.

"Haruka-chan, where are you going?" Yukino asked her girlfriend who was heading into a narrow hallway near the door. Shizuru had never noticed this area before.

Haruka grinned. "There are lockers in here. I figured we'd keep our bags here because we are so going to dance," she gazed intentionally at Shizuru.

The other two girls only sighed helplessly at the party monster that was Haruka, and followed suit. After they left their bags and jackets in their respective lockers, the security guard in the room strapped their wrists with neon bracelets embedded with a magnetic strip for the lockers.

Yukino scowled at the plastic, neon-orange thing. "This is ruining my outfit."

Haruka and Shizuru giggled, totally not expecting such a comment from the girl. Yukino looked great tonight; she was wearing a lengthy white top from Louis Vuitton, black tights and ankle boots. Shizuru thought she was very chic.

The three headed straight to the elevators past the jumping crowd. Akira was hot on the mixers tonight, Shizuru noted. But there was another DJ on her mind. Excitement filled her belly as they ascended to the second floor where Reito and Tate were at. She was already planning on how to excuse herself from her friends so that she could go to the VIP lounge alone. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, though.

The short ascent stopped and they reached the second floor. With a blushing Yukino and a gaping Haruka, they saw where Reito and Tate were sitting by themselves.

Tate was smoking a slim cigarette. He was holding the joint between two fingers and poised it on Reito's lips. Reito was laughing uncertainly and later coughing after he took a puff. Shizuru only smiled at the sight.

"I guess it you understand now, Haruka-chan?" she said, holding back a laugh at the other girls' expressions.

Haruka sputtered, "I can't believe—no! This is unbelievable! I mean, _really_, Shizuru?" she peered at her in astonishment.

Shizuru let out a giggle. "Really, Haruka."

The other girl blushed as she continued staring at the unknowing couple.

Shizuru explained further. "Reito's helping Tate-kun cope with his break-up with Mai-san. At least that's what he said," she tapped her chin.

Haruka laughed out loud. "I wonder how guys help each other out with that!"

Yukino shook her head, cheeks still pink. "I _do not_ want to think about it."

They cautiously approached the two guys who were at a table near the bar. They waved the girls over and acknowledged each other.

"Hello Tate, Rei-kun," Shizuru greeted.

"Reito." Haruka made a sore little scowl at Reito. He laughed.

"Good evening, ladies," he smiled, seeming to know why Haruka glared at him. "Take a seat. I'll grab you some drinks," he stood up and went to the bar.

Tate was eyeing Shizuru warily. "Hey, Shizuru-san. Did you really just break up with Reito?"

Shizuru nodded as she took a seat beside Yukino. "Yes. But we are okay. I think we're closer than ever too," she added with a smile.

Haruka scowled at him. "Why so interested, Tate?"

Yukino grabbed her arm. "Haruka-chan," she mumbled warningly.

Tate looked stricken and waved his hands anxiously. "Oh no! No particular reason. I was just surprised Reito's really cool with it, I mean he's been with Shizuru-san for a while, y'know," he said hastily.

Reito then came back with a handful of beers and a cheery smile on his face. The tension in the air quickly melted.

Reito handed the drinks to the group, and they all took a swig. Tate was tapping his knee to the music. Shizuru had a distracted atmosphere about her. Yukino was leaning close to Haruka's ear and talking. As Reito was sitting down, he said in a low voice, "I met Lu-san at the bar. She sent her regards, Shizuru."

Shizuru frowned. "Right."

Tate suddenly stared over Shizuru's shoulder and tapped her arm. "Seems she's headed here."

Shizuru turned around in her seat and caught Anh Lu still in her bike leathers and a broad smile on her face. Shizuru felt she was at the school parking lot over again.

"Hi Shizuru."

Shizuru offered a polite smile. "Hello, Lu-san. I'm sorry but I can't stay and chat. I was just excusing myself from my friends," she eyed them all significantly as she motioned to stand up.

Anh Lu raised her eyebrows. "Oh yeah? Where you headed?"

Shizuru raked her eyes around in thought. "To the VIP lounge."

Anh Lu grinned at this. "I'll come with you. I was going there anyway."

Yukino rolled her eyes. Haruka had a disgusted expression on her face. Reito and Tate silently exchanged glances. The girl had a bad reputation.

"Very well. Excuse me, everyone." Shizuru said tightly and walked toward the elevators without waiting for Anh Lu. The girl followed closely behind as the elevator doors shut.

They were alone in the lift. Shizuru felt the air stifling. "Is someone waiting for you up there?"

Shizuru shifted her eyes towards Anh Lu. She could lie. "Yes."

The doors opened to the lounge. "Yeah? Who?"

Shizuru pretended not to hear as she headed towards the bar. How could she answer Anh Lu's question?

The other girl trailed closely behind her as she walked through the crowd. Shizuru's gaze caught the DJ booth and her heart pumped faster. She was there. With her silky black hair and green eyes focused on her equipment. With her Mike&Chris Mansfield jacket partially unzipped. Shizuru hurried over to the bar.

"Good evening, Mai-san. I'll have—" she thought of a strong drink. "—Daiginjo, please."

"Coming right up, Shizuru-san!"

Meanwhile, Anh Lu sat on a barstool beside her and ordered her own drink. "So, where's the guy?" she asked teasingly, somehow knowing there really wasn't anybody.

Shizuru sighed. She downed her shot. She could not come up with more white lies. Frankly she was tired of Anh Lu. She'd normally flirt along when someone treated her like this, but this girl's tactics were getting too old.

Meanwhile at the DJ booth, Natsuki set her jaw. Just a moment ago her heart leapt when she finally saw Shizuru again. Now her heart turned cold; she could see that Anh Lu chick hitting on Shizuru at the bar. Shizuru looked lost, distractedly talking to the girl. Suddenly, a pair of crimson eyes was staring at her with a pleading look, causing Natsuki's frown to waver.

Stepping down the DJ booth, Natsuki made her way to the bar, eyes boring into Anh Lu's forehead. As Natsuki got closer to the pair, Anh Lu ogled at her and then swept her eyes towards Shizuru who was now holding back a pleased smile.

Natsuki grinned back. "Hey, babe. I'm sorry I took so long," she said convincingly. She glanced cheerfully at Anh Lu. "Thanks for taking care of my girl, Lu."

Shizuru snapped her jaw from falling into an ungraceful gape. As an early 'thank you' she stood up and kissed Natsuki on the cheek.

* * *

**(1)** **"Crimewave" by Crystal Castles**. Or maybe "Alice Practice" from the same artist. It's some hypnotizing electro. You'll appreciate it when you're high, but no, don't do it hehe.

**(2)** **"Déjà vu" by Bob Taylor featuring Inna. **High or not, this song is really good! You'll be moving your body before you know it. You _must_ take a listen.


	4. The Sound of Letting Go

A/N:** I love all Hime/Otome characters. Seriously. Even Anh.**

**This chapter should be named "Natsuki no Ogori". (according to nuggi) thanks dude!**

**And somebody said I was bashing Natsuki in this chapter. I was like, _what?!_ haha I could NEVER hate Natsuki even if I tried! I just had to characterize her a little differently from how we normally see her as "naive" and "adorable".  
**

**

* * *

  
**

**LIGHTS AND MUSIC**

**4. The Sound of Letting Go (David Guetta)**

_We could go around all day  
Find excuses we can say  
In the silence I can hear  
Can't you feel it?  
It's the sound of letting go.  
It's getting louder and louder._

_.  
_

_**Natsuki's Place**_

**Ebisu**

_Natsuki shut her eyes tighter. She wanted to prolong her unconsciousness, to be buried deep in slumber where no shit ever happens._

_No worries. No problems. No living nightmares. No, not even dreams in her sleep. Last night's pot session took care of that, and the girl lying naked beside her was just an added benefit._

Her dreams were gone_. The nightmares too, thank goodness for that. No more scenes of a twisted rendering of her younger self in the backseat of a car and her mother's face contorted in panic as she gripped the—_

_"No." She growled, refusing to play out the scene. _Hell no.

_A soft rustling broke through the room. "Nat—…Kuga-san?"_

_The voice effectively pushed those thoughts away from Natsuki's mind. Without turning to face the other girl, she said flatly, "What are you still doing here?"_

_The girl stiffened significantly behind her. "I'm sorry. I was planning to leave before you woke up but—"_

_"Then get out now while I'm not fully awake yet." Natsuki grunted as she pulled the sheets to block out the morning light._

_This was the other part she hated about the mornings. She knew it was cold of her to be using a girl for one night and kicking her out right after. Just like all the others..._

_Tch. It's not like they were friends anyway._

_Natsuki opened her eyes under the blankets. She listened to the girl tentatively extracting herself from the bed and hopping around the room in search of previously discarded clothes. After a few moments, the sound of muffled heels clicking faded as the girl exited her apartment. She let out a relieved sigh._

_She stood up and hastily threw on shorts and a shirt and picked up a few things littered all over her bedroom floor: A filled ashtray. Pack of cigarettes. Records and liquor bottles. A bag of pot. _Smoke belcher. Addict. Slob.

_She gathered them up in her arms and trudged out of her room to place the stuff on her dining table in the kitchen. She made coffee, avoiding the sight of the small pile on the table. The light of the approaching noon shot sharply into the windows of the apartment, stinging her eyes as she sat down on a chair, cup in hand. She stared cynically at the objects before her._

_The drugs were from Anh Lu. The girl she fucked, too. She was blonde and pretty and younger than her and she practically stole her from Anh. She shouldn't have. Younger girls were _naive, reckless, foolish...

_The mixture of smells wafted from the pile and pricked at her nostrils._

_"I wonder. What would you think of me now?"_

_The coffee scalds the buds on her tongue. But that was a lame excuse for the tears that slowly gathered up in her eyes._

.

Anh Lu was angry. She was seething. She decided right there that she absolutely hated Natsuki Kuga.

She narrowed the slits of her eyes at the DJ, who was now on the receiving end of a kiss, thinking how arrogant the bitch could be. She wanted to hit her so bad for stealing the blonde girl yesterday. She wanted to beat her up for _pretending t_o be Shizuru's girlfriend.

The thought if it almost made her laugh cynically. She was used to rejection; from her parents who disowned her for being gay, from Shizuru always dodging her moves. But this level of arrogance made her question why she ever liked Natsuki.

She vaguely recalled the time when she first met her when Anh just started drug dealing. Natsuki was previously her source for the stuff, until she had quit and worked as a DJ instead. Anh was immediately attracted. Even she was not immune to Natsuki's cold beauty. After she quit, Anh was her source. The first time Natsuki bought from her, she offered another form of _exchange_ instead of money. She almost beat Anh into a pulp.

The girl was cold and unaffected. She was inconsiderate of other people's feelings. She disregarded the need for courtesy when it came to getting what she set out to have. That included girls whether they were taken or not. Anh Lu was no different.

She had actually admired Natsuki despite her apathy towards relationships. Even in their rivalry they still had an association that allowed Anh to see how Natsuki's indifferent attitude came about; the girl worked hard to get her ass off the streets that she dropped all the niceties. But Anh was just indifferent by herself.

That's why she still hated her.

"Stealing girls again, Kuga?" she spat angrily folding her arms. "You aren't fooling me. She's with Kanzaki."

Natsuki blinked, not expecting the comment.

Shizuru smiled pleasantly. "Actually, we broke up. You can ask him yourself, too. You seem to be well-acquainted with him downstairs," she said.

But Anh Lu didn't even flinch. She kept her eye on Natsuki's gleeful expression.

"I see. But how about last night then, huh?" Anh tilted her head towards Natsuki whose cheeks colored.

"Didn't you fuck that blonde girl from my place? _Kurusagawa Himeko_, no less." Anh threw a knowing glance at Shizuru.

Natsuki's mood darkened and her jaw tensed. "Shut up. I didn't." She lied.

Anh's smirk widened as she unwaveringly stared at Natsuki. "Oh really? Don't tell me you didn't use that toy she had!" She laughed.

Shizuru was silent. Deep inside she wanted to stomp her foot and glare at Natsuki because she just about knew who Anh Lu was talking about. However she only cleared her throat and resolved to mend the situation, as she saw Natsuki's fists tightening in embarrassment.

"I know all about it already, Lu-san," Shizuru said in her most diplomatic voice. As the other two girls looked a little shocked at her statement, she turned to Natsuki.

"It's all right. We'll just talk about it right now, dear. Okay?"

Natsuki nodded mutely. She was blushing profusely, either from the endearment or from Anh's revelation, or both.

"Please excuse us, Lu-san," Shizuru nodded politely at her. Anh Lu shook her head in disbelief.

"This is Natsuki Kuga of all people, Shizuru. I know you really aren't together," Anh scoffed. Before walking away, she said, "Be careful."

Shizuru only smiled at Anh's retreating form. She was torn on whether to laugh at her statement or to take it seriously. She sat on one of the barstools beside Natsuki. Neither of them knew what to say.

"Do you want a drink?" Natsuki asked awkwardly.

Shizuru shook her head. "No thanks. I just had one."

Natsuki nodded. "Alright, er—Mai! Over here." She called the bartender.

Mai eyed the both of them suspiciously, her gaze resting especially on Natsuki. She could not help but eavesdrop on their conversation, as most bartenders do. Natsuki pretended not to notice the question in her stare. Mai would have to talk to her about it later and decided to let the matter rest for now.

"Hey, Natsuki. The usual?" she asked as she approached.

"Yeah. Thanks Mai."

Shizuru was silent as Mai shot the drink into an ice-filled glass. Natsuki was oddly shooting swift glances at her. It was only when she noticed Shizuru's impish expression that Natsuki fully faced her.

"What?" She asked nervously while she tipped her glass, eyeing Shizuru's growing smirk.

"Let's talk about it now, _dear_," Shizuru teased in her melodic drawl, rightfully earning a full blush from Natsuki.

The DJ laughed uneasily with traces of guilt etched in her expression. "Well, I—like I said, nothing really happened!"

Shizuru giggled at her behavior. "Oh? But what about that toy Lu-san mentioned? Ara, Natsuki really has been cheating on me!"

"Sh-shizuru! I wasn't cheating—and you aren't really my girlfriend!" Natsuki sputtered.

Shizuru pouted. "You're such a meanie, Natsuki. I was only kidding. Besides, you were pretty convincing to Lu-san when you said we were together." Shizuru opted to change the subject. She really didn't want to know about Natsuki's recent conquest, and she didn't want to even think about Himeko actually cheating on her girlfriend.

"Yeah, well you were pretty convincing yourself. It sounded like you really broke up with your boyfriend," Natsuki replied with her cheeks still coloring.

"But we really did break up." Shizuru said offhandedly.

Natsuki's eyebrows perked up. "Really?" she said a bit eagerly.

"Natsuki seems pleased with that." Shizuru smiled.

The DJ laughed. "Very!"

Shizuru reveled in Natsuki's openness with her attraction towards her. But her restraint renewed as she pondered on Anh's revelation and warning. Tonight, she had found out that this wildly alluring girl was a player. And Shizuru logically realized that Natsuki would only make a conquest of her. She couldn't take the thought of it. She had never even had sex before. Her dignity apprehended her own fascination towards her.

"Well, thank you for saving me from Lu-san. But I must go," Shizuru said, turning around to look at the dancing crowd. Her sudden coldness surprised Natsuki.

"What? But it's too early to go home," Natsuki countered.

Shizuru was thankful to see that Haruka and Yukino were already in the lounge, dancing. She had to get away now. She wanted Natsuki, but she couldn't shake the thought of her having sex with another girl she knew. She was starting to think that Natsuki was just another Anh Lu.

"I'm only going to dance with my friends. Why don't you play a song for us? Goodbye, Natsuki." She stood up and left a sputtering Natsuki at the bar.

"But—"

Shizuru ignored her. Anh Lu's warning resounded in her mind. She sighed and walked up to Haruka and Yukino.

"Shizuru, who were you talking to?" Haruka asked breathlessly.

"Haruka, can I sit down for a bit?"

"Yukino! We just got here. Oh, alright. Shizuru, let's dance! I love this song!"

After receiving a peck from Haruka, Yukino was relieved to sit down at one of the couches.

Shizuru had no choice, really. So she danced along with the crowd pressing around her and Haruka. At first she was reluctantly moving around, but she decided that she could erase the gnawing thought of Natsuki's promiscuity by having a good time with her friend. Soon she even allowed a cute guy to dance with her. She was now sandwiched between him and Haruka who was leaning close to her and speaking in her ear.

"Hey, the girl you were talking to is actually DJ Kuga!"

Shizuru looked up at the DJ booth. Her breath hitched to find that Natsuki was looking straight at her with an annoyed frown on her face.

She nodded at Haruka, slightly elbowing away the guy's hand from her hips. "Yes, I know! Actually, there's something I haven't told you about her." She nearly shouted above the music and the screaming people. She wanted to tell Haruka about Anh Lu's disclosure. The guy behind her danced closer to her body, causing Shizuru to unconsciously glance at the DJ booth.

Meanwhile, Natsuki was slightly bent above her equipment, her lips forming a tight line in displeasure. Straining her eyes through the flashy lights, she watched Shizuru being grinded against by some random guy.

She must have looked so foolish standing alone at the bar a while ago, fiddling guiltily with the cuffs of her jacket sleeves while Shizuru walked away from her. She hoped Anh Lu didn't see that. She wasn't used to girls walking away from her. _I'm usually the one doing that_, Natsuki thought.

Anh just had to torment her by revealing last night's fling whom Natsuki knew full well to be taken already. Shizuru probably thought she slept around a lot (which she did). She probably thought that their first encounter meant nothing, if it meant anything at all in the first place. Well, it wasn't as if Natsuki didn't deserve it for "stealing".

And what the hell was she doing beating herself up for Shizuru? Yeah, she's gorgeous and really lovely, and she tasted so sweet during the first time they met, but damnit, she was just another girl. Really.

_Just a girl_, Natsuki thought. She glanced at her dancing hotly with her friend and the guy. Natsuki averted her eyes and focused on her job. The song she was playing had a furious and heavy beat about it, and the patrons danced just as furiously. For a long while she only concentrated on her live mix of Sander van Doorn **(1)**. She was making an effort not to look at Shizuru moving her hips and her body to the mad beat she played.

But her eyes kept glancing at the dance floor every so often anyway.

At a corner she saw Chie and Aoi dancing with another girl. In the midde of the dancefloor Shizuru was facing the guy now. On one of the tables were Nao and Anh Lu necking. Shizuru was putting her arms around the guy's shoulders. Haruka was now dancing with a bespectacled girl. Shizuru was pressed up against the guy. Beside the booth Midori was getting shitfaced with Youko. The guy's face was buried in Shizuru's neck. The crowd was shouting in full _banzai!_ mode. The guy's lips were pressed against Shizuru's—

"Damnit it all!" Natsuki cursed as she yanked down her headphones. She quickly made a list of songs on her laptop nearby. Nao was going to bite her head off later.

Presently she found herself jostling through the dancefloor towards the still attached pair. She slipped roughly between them to cutoff their lip lock, although Natsuki could only give her a soft glare instead of a full one, their proximity melting away her annoyance. Shizuru seemed shocked, and thankfully the guy seemed to sense Natsuki's dangerous vibe that he turned away without a word.

This time it was Shizuru who grabbed Natsuki's hand and dragged her into one of the empty and spacious bathrooms. Natsuki had a feeling that Shizuru wasn't doing this to make out with her.

"I don't recall wanting to be saved, Natsuki." She said flatly as they reached inside.

Natsuki looked up at her somewhat guiltily and shrugged. "You were making me jealous."

"Please," Shizuru drawled. "Don't flatter yourself." But secretly she cheered for successfully capturing Natsuki's jealous attention.

Natsuki blushed in humiliation as her flirting was rejected, a feeling she was not used to until she met Shizuru. The girl had completely turned the tables with what she had just said.

"Maybe Lu-san was right. You just interrupted me from a good thing earlier."

Jealousy surged up in Natsuki's chest again, and she ignored the part about Anh. She fixed Shizuru with a serious stare. "I'm sorry…But I really like you. Did the first time we met mean anything at all to you?"

It was a loaded question that Shizuru decided not to answer. "Does that matter? I know it hasn't meant anything to you by the way you've been sleeping around. Especially with Chikane's girlfriend."

Her tone was suddenly unfriendly. She sounded as if Natsuki had just touched some personal issue with her. It was true. The Fujinos and Chikane Himemiya's family were long-time business partners and family friends. The parents of both families were college buddies and had stayed friends for personal and profitable reasons. The dinner parties and golf outings and numerous black-tie events made sure that their children also knew each other. Chikane and Shizuru (and Reito, Haruka, Yukino, and Tate) went to the same high school, and they both had piano, tea ceremony, naginata, etc. lessons together. Chikane was Shizuru's friend. And Shizuru wondered whether Chikane and Himeko were broken up, or that Himeko had just cheated on her.

Meanwhile Natsuki was silent and buried deep within guilt and embarrassment. She hadn't expected Shizuru to make a big deal out of her past experiences, but she actually personally knew the girl Natsuki had recently slept with. _But so what?_ She hadn't expected _herself_ to make a big deal over that fact, but she did. In fact her mind fretted over it and groped around for an explanation.

"I was excited, you know? When I found out you were here tonight." Shizuru's disappointed tone echoed between the marble walls. "I actually went back here a few days after we met, just to see you again. But Hallard-san told me you had quit," she confessed.

"Earlier, I was so thrilled when you addressed me so sweetly, like it was real. I was happy that you saved me from Lu-san's intentions."

Natsuki dropped her eyes to the floor. She couldn't speak, as she strongly sensed a contravention to Shizuru's words coming.

"But after what she said…"

"Don't believe anything she says!" Natsuki hopelessly blurted.

"…I'm beginning to think that it was Lu-san who actually saved me."

.

_She contracted the muscles in her arms tightly to fight off the tears. She had cried enough times over the same thing that she thought she had buried a long time ago. It was easy to forget your feelings of loss when you were fending for yourself as a kid, and Natsuki's fierce determination to rise up numbed her thoroughly._

_She knew she did not 'rise up' at all, though. Her means were unjustifiable._

_She desperately tried not to think of her mother who struggled to save her from becoming a laboratory guinea pig. Her mother, who was torn between maintaining her well-paying job for her daughter and protecting her daughter altogether. Her mother who taught her to be a good girl. Her mother who was a good person. Her dead mother._

"_It should've been me." Natsuki murmured. Her pride resurfaced. If she had died she wouldn't have committed all those things that made her ugly inside. If she had died in that car accident she couldn't have turned into someone so painfully different from what her mother taught her to be. Someone horrible. She could get anyone with her beauty, but the monster inside her would drive them away._

_She didn't like blaming herself for her own sins. But she couldn't bring herself to blame her mother. Not even her father who stopped sending his far and few checks when he knew of her lifestyle, and instead sent a note telling her to get her shit together._

_It should have been her. She knew it was rather selfish of her to say. Her pride told her that it wasn't her fault. The drugs. The casual sex. The illegal dealings. The monster that was her. Not her fault._

_She rolled up a blunt, flicked a lighter and inhaled._

_No way._

* * *

A/N:

*clucks disapprovingly* When are you going to get your shit together, Natsuki?

**(1) "Riff" (Fedde Le Grand remix) by Sander van Doorn. **You can only really appreciate the heaviness of this beat in a club. It's just awesome dance to.


	5. Let Me Be Real

A/N: **JPY 28,000 = $300 approximately. Just about the price of Gucci shades. Shizuru doesn't skimp *snicker*.**

**There are like 2,346 (and counting) Mai Hime fanfics out there. I'm glad you're even giving me the time of day!**

**I wish I could party with all those who reviewed. You're awesome people ;)**

**

* * *

  
**

**LIGHTS AND MUSIC**

**5. Let Me Be Real (Fedde Le Grand [featuring Mitch Crown])**

_Just the thoughts in my head got me thinking_

_Asking myself, 'Oh what am I living?'_

_Thoughts can be such a heavy burden_

_It's time to tear down these curtains_

_Now tell me what do you live for?_

_._

**Frames**

_**Daikanyama, Shibuya**_

**11:00**

Hangovers are something even the rich can't escape. You wake up to your trendy apartment on a Monday with it, drive to a hip café in your racing-class coupe, have a 28,000-yen brunch with your friends, wear huge Gucci sunglasses to conceal the circles under your eyes, and it _still_ hurts like hell. You're grateful, but normally you don't care about all the decadent details of your life. You'd rather wake up to some cheap motel and commute to an ordinary diner if it meant being with somebody you loved. You'd rather cuddle in a threadbare bed with someone special, or maybe, make out in a malodorous bathroom of a club…Then your hangover would be the least of your concerns.

Then there's Haruka talking about another party this Saturday and telling you that you should definitely go. It was a school party to end the semester and the start of the holidays. Haruka said it was perfect too—the nineteenth of December was your 21st birthday after all, and the night of the University of Tokyo's rager.

_The only thing that's _raging_ right now is this massive hangover, _Shizuru thought.

She wondered how Haruka still managed to be chipper despite the crazy alcohol bender they had last night. Yukino had to drive home two pissed drunks in the wee hours of the morning. Actually, make that four: they found a shirtless Reito and hammered Tate Yuiichi at the parking lot of Zhang. A sputtering Yukino threw them at the back of Haruka's SUV.

"It's your birthday, so we're going all right?" Haruka insisted. Shizuru nodded resignedly.

Yukino frowned disapprovingly. "I am not driving you two drunks again. And you didn't keep your promise last night, Haruka-ikezu."

"What? Oh, geez—that's why you were so grumpy this morning. I'm sorry Yuki-chan…"

Despite the headache Shizuru managed to lower her sunglasses and smile at the pair. "Ara, that's not good Haruka. You forgot to please Yukino but you were definitely feeling me up in the car last night."

"SHUT UP YOU BUBUZUKE! I was not feeling you up! I thought you were Yukino!" Haruka slammed her palm on the table. The quiet ambience of the upscale café was rather disturbed by her outburst.

Shizuru giggled and cautiously held her orange juice glass. Yukino glared at her, but not quite penetrating Shizuru's dark lenses.

"What was that I heard? Who's feeling up whom?" Reito returned cheerfully from the counter with a waitress holding a tray of matcha ice cream. He sat down beside Shizuru.

Haruka shot him a sharp look. "Shut it, Kanzaki. On the other hand, YOU were definitely doing more than feeling up last night!"

He thanked the waitress and waved a hand dismissively. "I'm sorry you had to see that. But please, don't speak about it to anyone," he said lowly. He pushed the ice cream towards the center of the table. "Dessert is on me, girls. My way of thanks, Yukino." He winked.

"I'll pass," Shizuru muttered as she massaged her brow.

"No tea as well, Shi-chan?" Reito glanced at her drink. He removed her sunglasses and pretended to look horrified at her face. "Your fangirls are going to cry," he teased.

Shizuru laughed, "Ara ara. Not today, Rei-kun. I'm bearing the consequences of last night."

"Ah well, that's to be expected. Too bad you can't get hair of the dog at this hour," he chuckled. "Did you have fun then? I'm still not used to being away from you, it is a bit odd."

Shizuru smiled at him. "Really, now? I hope Tate-kun provides a nice distraction for you," she teased. Haruka groaned. Reito grinned. "I never expected to have so much fun last night, actually. Lu-san really dampened my mood at first."

"I've been meaning to ask you about that. Did she show you a good time or..?"

She shook her head. "No. I really wanted to get away from her. You remember the girl I told you about? The DJ?"

Reito raised his brows. "How could I forget?"

Shizuru nodded. "Well, she sort of pretended to be with me so I could get away from Lu-san."

"Did she hit on you again?"

Yukino looked up from her ice cream. "I think she did more than that. Kuga totally interrupted Shizuru from kissing that cute guy—"

"You actually kissed that guy?!" Haruka shot at Shizuru. "And what do you mean 'cute'?" She glared at Yukino.

"You were too busy getting drunk, Haruka."

"You went all-out then, Shi-chan. Although I'm glad I didn't see that," Reito said uncertainly. He cleared his throat. "So then, this Kuga interrupted because she was jealous?"

Shizuru nodded. "It was a bit rude of her. But…"

Across the table, Haruka folded her arms and stared at her best friend. Shizuru had already informed her of how she made out with Natsuki in the bathroom and of what happened last night. She was a little surprised that Shizuru was inclined to a girl all of a sudden, but given her relationship with Yukino, she could understand. "But you still like her, don't you?"

Getting no answer, Haruka sighed. "It's a bit dodgy to get involved with her, Shizuru. Either Chikane and Himeko broke up, or that Kuga's a homewrecker."

Yukino pulled out her cell phone and dialed Himemiya Chikane's number. "I'll try to check then. I do hope they're all right."

Reito was confused. "Ano, how come Himemiya-san is involved?"

Shizuru massaged her temples with her fingers. _How I wish she wasn't._ _What a real headache this is_.

Haruka answered for her. "Kuga slept with Himeko. She probably didn't think that Shizuru knew who Himeko's girlfriend was. And to be involved with _her_, I don't know what the hell she was thinking. She and Chikane better have split up beforehand, at least."

"I do hope you won't see her again, Shizuru." Haruka added gravely.

Reito shook his head lightly. "Whatever you do Shi-chan, be careful. Kuga-san sounds complicated."

Yukino flipped her cell phone close as she ended the call. They all fixed their eyes on her.

"I didn't mention the part about Himeko and Kuga, but Chikane-san says it's been a week since they broke up. She didn't sound perfectly composed this time."

"Well that's a bit of a relief," Haruka scoffed. "There you have it then, Shizuru," she quipped.

Shizuru quietly finished her orange juice. The drink had done nothing to cure her headache. Just like the information had done nothing to relieve her uneasiness.

_There you have it, Shizuru. So Natsuki isn't a homewrecker, but only a _total _player. Does that comfort you somehow? Do you still want her despite that?_

_Yes. Maybe she'd be able to cure this headache._

.

**Bizuri Dining Bar**

_**Omotesando Street, Shibuya**_

"I'm still miffed, you know." Nao Zhang exhaled the smoke into their private booth and regarded Natsuki with a frown.

"Aren't you always _miffed_ at me?" Natsuki retorted. She was finishing her plate of tonkatsu. To think that several months ago she could not afford a meal like this in a private booth in such a fancy place.

Nao clucked reproachfully. "I saw you leave the mixers for that girl again last night. Good for you I was a bit busy with Anh. Did you finally nail her?"

Natsuki sighed. "No, I didn't. Can we not talk about this?"

"Anh probably had something to do with that, ne?" Nao smirked and took another drag.

"What did she tell you? That I slept with one of her socialite friends?"

Nao gestured for the waiter and swung her eyes to Natsuki. "Kurusagawa Himeko. She's part of the sophisticated circles that Anh used to be in. Fujino's scene."

"_Fujino_?" Natsuki asked.

Nao looked incredulously at her. "Fujino Shizuru. Wait, don't tell me you don't even know her last name?" Nao cracked a grin and gave out her orders to the waiter.

Natsuki looked dumbfounded. "God, I didn't even know. I just didn't catch her last name when she told me."

Nao ordered a whisky double sour for both of them. She snickered at Natsuki. "She probably didn't tell you. She is a Fujino, after all. And she happens to know Kurusagawa. I bet they mingled a lot in society balls and such."

Natsuki scratched the back of her head in exasperation. "Damnit…"

"Why are you so worked up anyway? She's just a girl. A really hot one, though," Nao remarked.

_Just a girl_, Natsuki thought. Just a girl who completely distracted her. Just a girl who overloaded her senses. She was _the_ girl who first rejected her and left her wanting more.

She probably wouldn't be getting any _more_ with the way her reputation was going to the dumps. She didn't even get her number, let alone her prominent last name. She let herself to be utterly swept away by the first person to treat her differently.

Natsuki was grateful that their drinks finally arrived. She suddenly had the urge to get completely smashed, at dead noon no less. She wanted to numb the gnawing pain in her chest as she recalled Shizuru's cutting words.

"…_it was Lu-san who actually saved me."_

Absentmindedly she cursed herself and finished her drink quickly. Nao's eyes widened.

"Oh no, you're so into her." Nao still couldn't believe it. She had never seen Natsuki so bothered over anything as trifling as a girl. And it just had to be one of the glitterati, one Fujino Shizuru.

Natsuki opted to change the subject. "Where's Chie? I thought she was going to lunch with us."

Nao only shook her head, allowing her to divert their talk. "She had lunch with Aoi instead. Well, she's here now."

They both drifted their eyes towards the door where Chie emerged in a phone conversation. She acknowledged them distractedly as she sat down beside Nao, still absorbed with her cell phone.

She glanced across the table towards Natsuki. "It's a big event, she might do it. Yes, we'll see. I'll talk to her right now. Okay, thanks. I'll call you back later."

Chie ended the call and raked her eyes over Nao and Natsuki.

"I've had three calls for you, Natsuki. They want to book you on the same night, Saturday. We'll just have to pick one of them."

A waiter approached their table again and Natsuki ordered three more drinks for them. She shook her head at Chie. She was in no mood to be surrounded by lights and music anymore.

"I don't want to party this weekend, Chie. Get Akira to do it," she said lamely.

Chie raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Why not? Some of them might be good. Who were they, Chie?" Nao asked.

Chie took out a Blackberry and went over her notes. "There's a new club in Shinjuku and they want you to be at their opening. Another one is a college party."

Nao rolled her eyes. "Who the hell goes to college parties?"

Chie grinned. "Everyone will, with Natsuki mixing."

"Right. And the last one?" Nao pressed.

"You're gonna like this Natsuki. It's the ZoukOut. They're coming here in Tokyo and they invited you as one of the main artists," Chie announced excitedly.

Natsuki wasn't as thrilled. Nao and Chie peered curiously at her. The ZoukOut was Asia's largest dance musical festival. Despite the much hyped about event, they still expected Natsuki to decline. Which she did.

Natsuki shook her head again. "I don't need publicity from such a huge event. Playing at Zhang is perfectly fine with me. I'm sorry Chie. I don't even feel like doing anything this Saturday," she tried to explain. She knew Chie would be disappointed for turning down a big opportunity for both their careers.

Chie sighed. "So much for wishful thinking. Well, how about the gig at Shinjuku? Or would you rather do the college party? Pick one at least."

Nao frowned. "I can't believe you're not even going to persuade her, Hallard," she shook her had at Chie. "Anyway, not many people will be going to Shinjuku. Everyone's either going to the ZoukOut or Zhang." She said with pride. "Akira's playing that night."

Chie nodded in agreement. "That rules out Akira for the ZoukOut. And that leaves you the party at Tokyo U's Komaba campus."

"_Lu-san actually shares a class with me."_

Natsuki's eyes flickered in realization. "Komaba? Isn't that the campus where Anh Lu attends?"

Nao nodded. She looked at Natsuki skeptically. "I think she only has one class there, though. What are you planning to do?"

"I'll do it," Natsuki blurted with conviction.

Chie grabbed her drink after the waiter served their table. "Are you sure? You might want to think about the ZoukOut. It's still a few days away."

"I'm sure. Call them right now." Natsuki affirmed. "Who else is playing at Komaba?"

Chie grabbed her other phone and proceeded with the call. "Anh Lu, naturally. I'll ask them," she stated as she attached her headset.

Nao watched Natsuki sip her drink. She did the same and said, "I have a feeling that Fujino also goes to Tokyo U. Ne, Natsuki?"

For another shocking moment, Natsuki blushed. "I hope she's going to the party."

Nao nodded encouragingly. Even though she sort of liked her, she couldn't help but cheer for her friend. "Sure she will. Her friend Haruka is a party monster. She'll probably drag Fujino along."

She watched Natsuki's face light up with optimism.

"But, Natsuki," Nao smiled a little ruefully. "You have to clean up your act first."

.

**Linden Baum**

_**Takeshita Street, Harajuku**_

**21:00**

It was closing time at the Linden Baum, and Natsuki waited patiently for Mai to finish up in the kitchen. Her friend had called her up to meet because, according to Mai, it's been a long time since they really talked. This was code for 'I know you're up to something, Natsuki', and knowing Mai, Natsuki knew she was up for a lecture from her best friend.

Natsuki watched the last customers exit the café to proceed to the bustling streets of Harajuku. She was sitting at one of the outside tables and smoking it out. Again. Mai would definitely be giving a lecture.

Clad in a chef's garb, Mai appeared at the café's entrance. She was shouldering her bag and sat at Natsuki's table with a frown. Natsuki flashed her a smile.

"Long day?"

"It's not that, and you know it." Mai glowered at the offending stick wedged between Natsuki's fingers. "Well, I'm just glad that's only a cigarette you're smoking," she sighed.

"I'm trying to quit, you know. Seriously now," Natsuku offered as she dumped the cigarette on an ashtray.

Mai looked doubtful. "That's what you said the last time."

Natsuki shrugged. "Well, it's different this time. I have a _motivation_."

Mai pursed her lips in an amused manner. "A girl, no doubt. But my, I've never heard girls complaining about that. They like that attitude about you, after all."

Natsuki rolled her eyes. "Oh give it up. Let's just talk about why you called me here. I mean we see each other all the time, Mai. I'm sensing this is quite important."

"What? I just wanted to talk to my best friend. Nothing wrong with that," Mai shrugged but she looked down at the table while she spoke. "But seriously Natsuki, I've been hearing some things about you. And I don't want to believe them unless they came straight from you."

Natsuki nodded gratefully. "What things?"

Mai fingered the table anxiously. "I couldn't help but overhear last night at the lounge…"

"You always overhear things. You're a bartender." Natsuki grinned.

"Well, yes but this time it was you and Anh that I overheard talking. Something about an old classmate of mine that you were fooling around with?" she raised her eyebrows in inquiry.

"With, um, a toy?" Mai added apprehensively.

Natsuki blushed. "Mai! Anh Lu was talking about Kurusagawa Himeko's camera!"

"I know what she was talking about!" Mai said nervously. "Natsuki, were you taking pictures when you were doing, er, stuff?"

Natsuki paled. "Oh shit."

Mai's eyes widened.

"No, no, we didn't take pictures when we were doing things!" Natsuki frantically explained. "That'd be stupid, but—shit, she did take pictures when we were both really stoned. God, I was so high I couldn't even remember—"

"Natsuki," Mai said sternly. "Do you realize who Himeko's girlfriend is?"

Natsuki wiped the sweat off her brow. "She said they broke up, Mai! Although I could tell she was still into her ex—"

"Natsuki! Her girlfriend is Himemiya Chikane. You know her dad the _Oyabun _you used to work for?! What the hell were you thinking?"

"I…I wasn't thinking. I really wasn't."

Natsuki swallowed audibly when she heard Mai utter the name of her former employer. But she compelled herself not to panic.

"Why does that matter anyway? That was a long time ago, Mai," she said barely above a whisper. "You know I haven't been involved for so long."

Mai closed her eyes and shook her head. "What if Chikane sees those pictures? I just know how possessive she is of her girlfriend. What if she finds out that you were one of her dad's minions before? She'll let them scrape off your tattoo! Or worse, she'll get your pinky cut off—"

"She won't find out, damnit! Stop saying those things." Natsuki muttered uneasily. "I doubt she'd go to those lengths, I mean it was just one night with her ex. Her _ex_, Mai," Natsuki emphasized.

Mai looked worriedly across the table. "I'm sorry for making you nervous. It's just that you've never been so careless with your flings, Natsuki."

Natsuki pressed her palms against her eyes. "I know. I'm sorry for making you worry, Mai."

Mai tilted her head earnestly. "Let's not worry about it now. But you have to make sure to settle it before things get out of hand," she concluded.

"I heard you were playing at the Komaba campus this weekend. Nao told me I should cater the event."

Natsuki nodded. "You should. It'd be nice to have you there."

"She also told me why a big-shot DJ like you is playing at a college party," Mai grinned.

Natsuki's cheeks reddened. "Yeah, well. I'd like to see my _motivation_ in the flesh once in a while, don't you think?"

Mai smiled warmly at her statement. "Oh my gosh, Natsuki! I've never seen you like this," she observed happily. "I hope Shizuru-san is a big enough incentive to really turn your life around."

Natsuki nodded solemnly but smiled.

Mai stood up and gave her friend a sideways glance. "You know what, if you play videogames with Mikoto tonight, I just might give you Shizuru-san's number."

Natsuki abruptly rose up from her chair and dragged a laughing Mai to her motorbike. Hell, she would play videogames with Mikoto every night for it.

.

* * *

Note: **Nope, Chikane is not _the_ Oyabun. Her dad is. Scroll up and read it again.**


	6. Do It

A/N: **Good for Natsuki she's quitting smoking. I had a whole pack while writing this one (as with all the previous chapters). I'm such a hypocrite.**

**And again, Chikane isn't the gang lord. It's her dad.**

* * *

**LIGHTS AND MUSIC**

**6. Do It (Nelly Furtado)**

_You're standing at the door_

_I'm falling to the floor_

_You look even better than you did before_

_I'm staring at my feet wondering if I could do this_

_It's been a while but I could never forget you_

_I wanna take your hand but I lay back_

_'cause you know this thing could spiral in the night_

_I change my mind_

_I'm ready for you this time._

**.**

_**Golden Gai alley, Shinjuku**_

_Parking her motorbike in front of a tattoo shop, Natsuki dismounted her vehicle with a hint of jumpiness. Yamada's urgent call last night still flashed ominously in her mind and had left her restlessly pondering since then. It was due to the fact that even before Natsuki could do anything to settle the matter regarding the Oyabun's daughter, Yamada rung her up out of the blue and told her that he received orders from the Himemiya ojou-sama to "identify the bitch" that slung an arm around Himeko in the photographs. Thankfully, Yamada was given a week to take care of it and was merciful enough to inform Natsuki, whom he recognized all too well from her shitfaced expression in the pictures._

_Nervously, Natsuki patted her jeans pocket and took out a dented pack of Bensons & Hedges. Her thumb faltered in flicking the lighter and she cursed, a stick clamped between her teeth. She was totally on edge._

"_Shit." She cussed again as she remembered that she was supposed to kick the smoking habit. After giving herself a few puffs, she stubbed it out and entered the shop._

_Yamada was sitting on an armchair with his right arm exposed as Sakomizu worked on a full sleeve tattoo on his arm._

"_Oi, Kuga. D'you need a touch up on your tattoo?" Sakomizu shot her a glance before turning back to Yamada's arm._

"_She's here to do business with me. Take a seat, Kuga," Yamada pointed with his left arm on a chair._

"_Where are the pictures?" Natsuki asked as she sat down._

_Yamada smirked. "I figured nobody needed to see them, including you, so I burned them including the memory card," he stretched out a hand. "Loyalty comes with a price, Kuga."_

_Natsuki snorted. "Yeah, sure." _

_She reached inside her jacket pocket and threw a thick envelope on his lap. _

_He grinned. "Now with that settled, what do you suppose I tell her?"_

_Sakomizu listened curiously at their conversation. Natsuki was careful not to divulge anything with what she was going to say next. She didn't need another person knowing about her recent screw-up._

"_The girlfriend didn't tell her who I was then?"_

"_No. She might have been as frightened of her as you are," Yamada jeered._

_Natsuki curled her lip. "I'm not scared," she muttered. "Would you know any of her activities this week?"_

_Yamada handed her a palm top. "Look that over. She's going to a party this Saturday."_

_Natsuki scrolled down the list of schedules on the device. "You're fucking her maid, aren't you?"_

"_Whatever helps," he grinned impishly._

_She frowned when she read that Chikane Himemiya was going to be at the Komaba party. Now how the hell was she going to avoid that? Boycotting it wasn't an option and it would be reckless. Chie would stop supporting her if she made more stupid decisions like that. She had no choice but to face it._

"_She gave you a week, right?" Natsuki returned the palm top._

"_Yeah. Later than that she'll let her father cut off my finger," said Yamada dryly._

_She stood up and went for the door. "Find a way to not let her attend that party. If it can't be helped, call me."_

**.**

_**Dougenzaka, Shibuya**_

**Friday 23:20**

"Haruka is a total fiend," Shizuru sighed as she switched the ignition of her car. They exited Zhang's packed lot after they dropped Haruka off. "Goodness knows where she gets the energy. I doubt she'll be so enthusiastic for tomorrow night, with her partying right now."

Reito chuckled as he relaxed into the passenger seat. "I beg to differ. She is in the committee for tomorrow's event, after all."

"Trust her to get involved when there's a party," she remarked amusedly. With that in mind, she pressed a few buttons on the stereo screen and played a house track **(1)**. They passed through the streets in companionable silence until Reito reminded her of their destination.

"I believe Mikoto is at Mai's place tonight. A midnight snack might be underway, I'll check," Reito grinned as he hit speed dial.

Shizuru pulled at a stop and turned to her passenger. "I really must try her famous cooking sometime," she smiled.

"You would be as addicted as Mikoto once you try her ramen, Shi-chan," Reito said.

He attended to his cell. "Excuse me for a bit."

Shizuru observed the lively atmosphere of the streets in thought, her mind drifting off to when they dropped Haruka at Zhang earlier. Her friend almost dragged her inside the club, but Shizuru declined already knowing Natsuki wouldn't be there. The LED screen beside the entrance hadn't flashed Natsuki's name, but Akira's instead. As soon as Haruka realized this, she turned to Shizuru with a small smile playing on her lips.

"_You'll see her soon enough, Shizuru. You can bet on it."_

She didn't know what Haruka meant, but she dreadfully hoped so.

"Yes, I'm quite familiar where that is," Reito spoke over the phone and glanced at Shizuru.

"Mikoto is at that apartment that Yukino's father owns," he explained shortly and got back to the phone call.

Shizuru nodded, shifted gears and sped through the direction of Ebisu. Reito emerged from the call with a pleased expression.

"I think Haruka was right, then," he said ambiguously.

"What do you mean, Rei-kun?"

Reito suppressed an amused laugh. "It seems that Mikoto has a birthday present for you, Shi-chan."

Shizuru slightly frowned in confusion. Reito could be so vague sometimes.

**.**

**Natsuki's Place**

_**Ebisu, Shibuya**_

The crowd at Reykjavik was going crazy as Mikoto ripped her drum solo with great concentration. Natsuki meanwhile stroked steady riffs on the guitar with a grin on her face as she watched Mikoto work the crowd. The kid was getting really good at this, she noted, as they played their cover of The Who perfectly and finally hit the "Big Rock Ending".

"Yeah!" Mikoto exclaimed as their song ended. Five gold stars were flashing on the LCD screen. Natsuki laughed and ruffled the girl's hair.

"That was flawless. You've been practicing, haven't you, Mikoto?"

The girl nodded gleefully. "I got the drum kit from Reito last Monday when I got home after we were playing at Mai's. She said I was pretty good!"

Natsuki smiled at the mention of her best friend. "You really like hanging out with Mai, huh?"

"Yup. I love her cooking. Ever since my brother introduced us I've always been hanging out with her."

Natsuki scratched her temple as she set down the guitar controller. "Well, wasn't it a long time ago that your brother and Mai broke up? They were still quite young that time, ne?"

"Hmm. But he said had to do it because my parents arranged him with another girl," Mikoto explained. "Mai said they were okay, though."

Natsuki smirked. "Did they arrange him with someone pretty at least?"

Mikoto nodded. "You'd totally be into her. But oniisan said he broke up with her too. I wonder how my parents will react to that."

She patted her growling stomach and looked at Natsuki imploringly. With a laugh Natsuki turned around towards her kitchen to heat up some pizza. Mikoto's friendly presence could certainly cheer up her usually oppressive and empty apartment.

Mikoto stared at Natsuki's retreating form. She fixed her eyes on the intricate picture that was peeking out from her racerback tank: a tattoo of a snake that was almost crushing a lotus flower. With a question in mind, she stood up from the drum kit and followed Natsuki into kitchen.

"Oi, Natsuki," Mikoto started as she watched Natsuki lean on the counter to wait for the microwave.

"I was wondering," she said timidly. "Where did you get that tattoo? It's nice. But I think the snake's a bit creepy." The microwave beeped.

Natsuki turned away distractedly to grab the pizza. Mikoto bit her lip apprehensively. She had a hunch as to what Natsuki might say.

"Mai didn't tell you, then?" Natsuki set the plate on the table and they both sat down. Mikoto's attention was briefly diverted to the food and she shook her head as she bit a pizza slice.

"Well, it's not something I'm proud of, I can tell you that," Natsuki explained. She placed her hands on the table surface. "But you might have an idea. You're 17 already, right? What you're guessing is probably correct."

Mikoto understood perfectly and she didn't press the subject and focused on wolfing down the food. A moment later a sound was ringing in the living room.

She glanced up with her mouth full of food. "It'sh my phome."

"Shall I answer it for you?" Natsuki stood up and glanced at the clock. It seemed like they really had fun playing Rock Band tonight as it was already past eleven.

"Please." Mikoto nodded and grabbed another slice.

Natsuki walked out the kitchen and into the living room. She picked up the ringing cell phone from the floor and answered the call.

"Hello. This is Kuga. Mikoto's still a bit busy 'cause she's eating right now," she said.

The caller laughed lightly. "_I bet she is. This is her brother, Reito Kanzaki. She's not at Mai's place, I suppose? Well, I need to get directions to your place since I'm picking her up._"

Something suddenly clicked in Natsuki's mind: Mikoto's brother was Shizuru's ex-boyfriend.

She mentally cursed and chided herself for being so ignorant about a girl she supposedly really liked. She supposed it didn't help that she didn't know many wealthy people. Except for the gang lord she previously worked for. The thought of it made her frown as she was reminded of her conversation with Mai last Monday.

"_Hello?_"

Natsuki cleared her throat. "Erm, yes of course. It's at Ebisu. The Prime Urban Ebisu apartments."

"_Yes, I'm quite familiar where that is_." After a brief pause he said, "_I'll be there soon. Bye."_

"See you then."

"Was that Reito?" Mikoto appeared from the kitchen.

Natsuki handed her the cell phone. "Yeah, said he was picking you up in a moment. It sort of slipped my mind that Mai's at Zhang tonight."

Mikoto shrugged. "I forgot to tell him I wasn't going to be at Mai's as well."

Natsuki walked across the living room preoccupied with the thought of how foolish she was for sleeping with the girlfriend of a gang lord's daughter. She hoped that the girl wouldn't show up at the party. _You better not flake, Yamada_, she thought.

She sighed and stood in front of her set-up already determined to give a good show tomorrow night. Her set was all ready and she practiced many times on the two-hour mix she would be playing. She had a hard time concentrating these days though, as she purposefully abstained from anything she could smoke or dry swallow. Her throat itched with withdrawal and she was having dreams again but she soldiered on, albeit with difficulty, especially right now that she was gazing longingly at the pack of Seven Stars nearby. She turned away and booted up the laptop.

Mikoto lingered behind her and watched curiously. "Why does that piano have a lot of buttons?"

Natsuki turned around as she wore her headphones. "It's a synthesizer with piano keys so I can play a song live. Mah, it would take a long time for me to explain everything. Just watch me play, ne?"

Mikoto looked closely at all the complicated equipment that Natsuki started to manipulate. The opening upbeat drums of an Afrojack remix **(2)** bumped throughout the apartment.

The younger girl watched the DJ, fascinated. Mikoto couldn't help but think how cool she was.

On the other hand, the shady origins of her tattoo kind of dampened it a little bit.

**.**

"Hello, Mikoto? That's quite all right, little sis. I didn't know you were friends with her. Number 12 19 then. Do you mind if I let Shizuru come up instead? Oh, I was hoping you could introduce her to your friend. Thank you, Mikoto-chan."

They stood at the lobby near the elevators, and Shizuru raised an eyebrow. "Ara ara, why me?"

Reito grinned. "I wouldn't want to spoil Mikoto's present, Shi-chan," he explained. "Well come on, now."

Shizuru frowned skeptically, but Reito added, "Trust me, I'll only ruin the surprise."

With that Shizuru entered the elevator.

**.**

"I like it." Mikoto smiled as the song ended. "You're really good."

Natsuki smiled gratefully and set down her headphones. "Thanks. Your brother called again?"

"Yeah—" Mikoto was cut off by the doorbell. "That must be her."

_Her? Is her brother gay or something? _Natsuki looked at her oddly as Mikoto opened the door, and followed close behind.

"Hello, Mikoto. Ready to go?"

Natsuki had to blink twice at what appeared at her doorstep. Her heart was pounding restlessly in her ears as she took in the sight of Shizuru with her hands clasped behind her while she stood at the door.

Shizuru seemed to be going through the same thing as a light blush tinged her cheeks. _Ara, Reito was right, this really is a surprise._

Mikoto nodded at her with a smile, although she could sense something off with the two. She was totally aware of Natsuki's inclination to girls, and she swung her eyes between the both of them in comprehension.

"You seem to know each other already," she observed with a smirk. It was then she knew what her oniisan was talking about.

None of them responded, and Mikoto fought a laugh. "Thanks for tonight, Natsuki." She slipped on her shoes and stepped out the door past a frozen Shizuru. "I'll wait for you at the lobby, Shizuru-san."

With that, she skipped off leaving Natsuki and Shizuru looking like blushing statues at the door.

The formerly overconfident Natsuki was wordless.

Finally Shizuru spoke first. "Hi," she said timidly. "I didn't know you were friends with Mikoto."

"Er, do you want to come in?" Natsuki blurted. _Idiot! Aren't you being too forward?_

Natsuki was too late in restraining herself as her hand smacked itself on her forehead in frustration.

Shizuru was fighting hard to contain a giggle.

"I'm afraid I can't," she said regretfully. "I have to drive Reito and Mikoto home."

Natsuki puffed her cheeks nervously. _Smooth, Kuga_. A voice resembling Nao's sneered in her head. _You're acting like a love-struck teenager_,it laughed mockingly.

She scratched her head and fidgeted. "Can I escort you downstairs?"

Shizuru was careful not to smile too widely. "All right."

Natsuki closed the door a little too hastily and led the way to the elevators. Just then she looked down at her tank and sweatpants and a renewed blush crept on her face. She sighed audibly as she pressed the elevator button.

Meanwhile Shizuru followed closely behind her with amusement. She took the opportunity to appraise Natsuki's gorgeous form. _I have to say she's more attractive when she's all flustered..._ Then she noticed the tattoo peeking through Natsuki's top. _..and that is just hot._

The elevator doors opened and they both wordlessly stepped inside. They were alone. The small box they were in suddenly felt very warm. Natsuki gulped as all sorts of images flashed through her head: Shizuru moaning and gasping her name as she was pressed up against the wall while Natsuki took her right there in the damn elevator—

_No! You are not screwing this up_, her own voice gritted its teeth in her head. _Hold it in…Twelve floors to go…_

_My, that's still a long ride_, Shizuru thought as she noticed the buttons panel glowing on number 11. She still couldn't get over the surprise. Just when she least expected it, she meets Natsuki again. A very flustered and nervous Natsuki that she was not used to, and one she absolutely adored over the confident attitude she observed before. Of course she couldn't deny that it was this confidence that Shizuru was attracted to at first; Natsuki's whole vibe had left her hot and wanting like no other. But _this_—with Natsuki fidgeting nervously beside her in silence, turning her face away to hide her blush, and clad only in a tight tank and loose sweatpants, Shizuru could not help but consider the beautiful possibilities of being alone with her in an elevator. She had to do something about it. Consequences be damned.

She glanced at her watch, the hands pointing a few minutes past midnight. _Ara, I think I should claim my birthday present now._

"Natsuki?"

The girl in question whipped her head around nervously. Her blush never got a chance to die down as Shizuru suddenly stepped in front of her and closed the space between them.

With remarkable restraint, Natsuki didn't take the remaining inch between their faces. Shizuru seemed to have locked their eyes together.

"Yes, Shizuru?" Natsuki uttered shakily.

"Did you know…" Shizuru whispered as she placed her hands on Natsuki's almost bare shoulders. Natsuki could have sworn there was a conniving glint in her eyes, and she almost lost control when she felt Shizuru's hands on her.

"…that right at this hour, it's my birthday?"

"Really? Happy—" Natsuki was interrupted by Shizuru's lips on her own, allowing her to give a much better birthday greeting.

**.**

Reito glanced up the numbers above the elevator doors. Number 10 was glowing.

"I actually didn't have to introduce them," Mikoto smirked.

He chuckled lightly. "I'm sure they're getting reacquainted right now, Mikoto-chan," he draped an arm behind his sister's shoulders and led them both to the front desk.

The way Reito said it made Mikoto blush, her active teenage imagination providing her with a vivid picture.

Reito was holding Shizuru's bag and he fiddled with the car keys curiously as if contemplating a plan.

"Umm, why do you have a lady's bag?" Mikoto asked.

Reito grinned subtly at her and handed the bag to the front desk instead. The receptionist regarded him curiously.

"Please give this to my friend when she gets off the elevator. She's blonde and very charming, you can't miss her," he instructed. "Well, it's getting late Mikoto. Let's go."

Mikoto frowned in confusion as she followed her brother to the door.

"Oh, and greet her Happy Birthday for me, as well!" Reito told the receptionist over his shoulder.

Her brother was a devious man, and with another blush, Mikoto suddenly understood perfectly.

* * *

**I bet you wanna know what happened in that elevator huh? *grins evilly***

**(1) "Amazing" by Inna.**

**(2) "Moombah" (Afrojack remix) by Silvio Ecomo & Chuckie.**


	7. Secret Lover

A/N: **This is an Alternate Universe fic. Himeko and Chikane are characterised differently. **

**Other than that, feel free to critique all you want. This chapter sucks anyway. I had to deal with my feelings lately, and feelings mess up my writing big time.**

**

* * *

  
**

**LIGHTS AND MUSIC**

**7. Secret Lover (Private [Spencer & Hill remix])**

_I met you at the club, no further comment_

_I said "Baby let's get back to your apartment,_

_And girl, take off your dress, _

_Let's make this place a mess."_

_It feels so good, so tell me why should I confess?_

**.**

_Natsuki slammed her fifth shot at the bar. The club's party was dying down now at this hour and only very few patrons remained at the bar, with the dance floor empty. She wanted to drink her anger away, as stupid as it sounded. You just don't get drunk when you're angry unless you want to risk doing something you'll regret. But weren't there enough problems in her life to worry about another mindless thing she could do?_

_Her father had stopped sending her checks, which was a large part of her money she used to pay for rent and drugs and other important things in her life she needed to take care of. She decided that a few of those things weren't important at all, and she immediately regretted it, especially the useless drugs. Feeling all distracted and worried, she left the party at Zhang early. It was supposed to be the second night of her comeback after she had quit a few weeks before. It was reckless; her huge comeback parties were supposedly the ones that could earn her a lot of money for her to get stable again. And she ruined that over again by leaving._

_She ordered another round of shots._

"_Hey, take it easy. That was five shots in a row," a female voice rang close in Natsuki's ear and she turned her head to face the person._

"_I can handle it." Natsuki muttered more than a little miffed._

_The girl, who was a pretty blonde with long hair and had a high-powered camera around her neck, smiled amusedly at Natsuki._

"_Your face says otherwise," she laughed and tilted her head teasingly._

_Natsuki frowned and swallowed her sixth shot. "Could you hide that camera? I feel like I'm one of those TV shows where people get pranked."_

"_Oh, I'm sorry. It's not, I swear," the girl smiled apologetically. "I was just trying to get some party action for my pictures."_

"_So you just go to clubs for pictures? Party photographer?" Natsuki said offhandedly._

_The girl shook her head. "I don't normally shoot parties. I'm just meeting someone here," she explained. "I'm Himeko. Himeko Kurusagawa." She held out her hand with a smile._

"_Nice meeting you. I'm—"_

"_Natsuki. Fancy seeing you here."_

_Anh Lu's voice sounded behind her and Natsuki turned around._

"_Lu. What's up." Natsuki said dryly._

_Anh sat took a seat beside the blond girl, who acknowledge her. "Why did you just leave your big party?"_

_Natsuki shrugged, the action causing her head to spin. "I just wasn't into it. I take it you took over when I left?"_

_Anh smirked. "Well, yeah I had to. Nao could be very persuasive sometimes. And besides I'm just as good as you."_

_Nastuki shook her head incredulously and kept herself from saying. 'You better show, not tell, bitch.'_

"_I see you've met Himeko," Anh grinned roguishly. "I heard she does wonderful things with her toy."_

_Anh pointed to Himeko's camera with a smirk. "But, I won't let you steal her away."_

_Natsuki scoffed. "Did you try to charm her with your so-called music skills?"_

_Himeko laughed. "I think Anh's a very good DJ. I've seen her play."_

_Anh smiled pleasantly. "See, Natsuki-chan? She knows I'm better for playing at a hot superclub instead."_

_Natsuki calmly turned around in her seat to face Himeko. "I'm Natsuki KUGA. It was nice to meet you, Himeko," she said and watched Himeko's eyes light up in recognition._

"_I'm going to leave now, and if you think that Anh Lu's skills are better than mine, don't follow me." She smiled subtly and walked towards the exit._

_Anh Lu's eyes bugged out in anger. Himeko pursed her lips in amused thought._

"_I…think I'll go follow DJ Kuga," she said casually before following Natsuki to the door._

**.**

_You're fidgeting, Kuga. She's bound to have noticed your feeling of shame. By now, she's realised that you're not worth her time, and her friends have probably told her about you. This time, your hotshot DJ status means nothing, and you're even ashamed of it. You can't even look her in the eye like you did before. Girls love you for being a bad-ass. They love you for your name, your music, your whole attitude. They don't care about the drugs and the dirty jobs and all the nasty things about you, and they're attracted to that. But no, not this one though. This one's different. She isn't one of those girls. In fact, she almost certainly hates you for all that. So don't even think about getting anything—_

"Natsuki?"

Natsuki was suddenly snapped out of her thoughts by Shizuru's melodic voice breaking gently through the silence that filled the elevator. She was still trying to convince herself that this was really happening and that Tokyo wasn't really that big by the way they keep bumping into each other by accident. Hell, this elevator wasn't even big enough to give them at least three feet of the much needed breathing space that Natsuki wished she had; she wanted to grab a bag and hide her face in shame for what happened during the last time they talked. She was nervous because she wasn't ready to face Shizuru yet, especially when her reputation was still as bad as it had always been. She wanted to face her only when she was all cleaned up, and maybe she'd get a chance to redeem herself for Shizuru. But what was happening right now wasn't helping her self-control.

Natsuki looked up and watched Shizuru with disbelief as she took two slow steps toward her to close the space between them. The voice in her mind that kept scolding her was silent. She managed to utter a shaky, "Yes, Shizuru?"

"Did you know," Shizuru inched closer, their noses almost touching. Natsuki could feel her breath on her lips and her mind momentarily shut down at the proximity as the desire prowling in her chest threatened to break loose.

"That right at this hour…" Shizuru's voice dropped to a whisper and Natsuki held her breath as she felt Shizuru's hands touching her shoulders.

"…it's my birthday?"

"Really? Happy—" Natsuki was interrupted by Shizuru's lips crashing on hers. For a moment her lips froze in surprise, but only for a moment as she quickly caught on and kissed her in return, sliding her hands down to Shizuru's waist and held her close like she wasn't sure that this was happening.

"Mm…Shizuru, what—"

"Shut up. No talking."

Natsuki moaned as Shizuru slid her tongue in her mouth to shut her up. _Well, that's effective._

She pushed Shizuru against the wall and decided she could ask questions later and focus on giving Shizuru what she obviously wanted. You just don't refuse the birthday girl her wish, right? With that in mind, her nervousness was replaced by a compulsion to please.

She briefly broke her kiss with Shizuru to extend a hand towards the buttons panel and saw that their elevator ride was nearly over. Shizuru frowned in confusion.

"Natsuki?"

The elevator suddenly halted. Natsuki had pulled the stop button to stop on level 2.

She turned to Shizuru with a subtle smile on her face. "Like I said, happy birthday."

Natsuki held Shizuru's face and kissed her.

**.**

"_Just tell me who she is, Himeko." Chikane muttered sternly as she stared at her girlfriend's form by the window._

"_Why? So you could use your father's thugs to deal with her?" Himeko scoffed and did not turn around to face her. "You should really start dealing with your own problems yourself, Chikane."_

_Chikane's fist tightened and she shifted angrily on the bed. "Oh, and who do you suppose started the problem by sleeping with a girl you barely knew?"_

"_Don't tell me you weren't messing around with other girls after we fought." Himeko closed her eyes to erase the thought and sighed after Chikane gave no reply._

"_You kicked me out and avoided me like the plague after I refused to—"_

"_Shut up! Don't say it," Chikane gritted her teeth in embarrassment. "I'm sorry about that, okay? It was stupid, I know that now. I just—Damnit, look at me!"_

_Himeko allowed herself a pleased smile before slowly turning around to face a defeated Chikane lying on the bed. Her girlfriend was the daughter of a ruthless gang lord that controlled a large chunk of Tokyo. Her girlfriend had a fiery temper just like her father. Her girlfriend did not just apologise that easily, but Himeko accomplished that in less than a minute in their conversation._

_She masked her amusement. "Say it again."_

_Chikane pursed her lips and averted her eyes. "I already did."_

"_I said say it again, Chikane, or you're not getting anything from me."_

"_Fine. I'm sorry." Chikane folded her arms sourly and leaned her head back on the pillow. "Are you pleased now? I can just imagine a triumphant smile behind that mask you're wearing."_

_Himeko's face broke into a grin as she finally joined Chikane on the bed and held her face, which still had an annoyed expression. "You are such a sore loser, baby."_

_Chikane significantly softened, and she bit her lip to keep herself from showing too much emotion which was quite difficult with Himeko snuggling close to her body._

"_Hey, I'm still angry," she said, but her face betrayed her words. _

"_Hmm." Himeko kissed her and made dubious sound._

"_I still want to know the bitch that was brave enough to mess with me and what's mine."_

_Himeko shook her head and caressed her face. "I wasn't yours that time, Chikane. Please don't let that happen again by having to confront her. I'm serious," she said as she bit her girlfriend's bottom lip._

_Chikane sighed as she held the hands that were stroking her face. "I know you did that because you were hurt. But in turn, that hurt me too._

"_I'm still trying to get over it."_

_Himeko pulled herself on top of her and whispered, "How about I help you completely forget about it?"_

**.**

Shizuru was delirious. They were really going to do it on an elevator.

Natsuki was unbuttoning her blouse with nimble fingers as she ravished her neck. She leaned her head back when she felt her teeth graze gently over her skin and her top was fully opened. Natsuki wasted no time in popping the front clasp of her bra and pushed it aside to knead her breasts with both hands. Shizuru moaned.

She wanted to take a step back and maybe think it over whether this was the right thing to do, but the strong desire pooling between her legs was painfully hard to ignore.

"Natsuki, wait."

"Shh, no talking." Natsuki leaned down and attached her lips to a hardening nub, eliciting another moan from Shizuru and effectively shutting her up from voicing her trepidation.

She could feel Natsuki's tongue stroking circles around her nipple and any inkling of apprehension skulking in Shizuru's mind disappeared. _Who cares if this is wrong?_

Natsuki's hand lingered on the elastic of her knickers under her skirt_. Why does it matter if this would only last for a moment in this elevator?_

Natsuki hooked a finger inside and slowly yanked her knickers down. _It didn't matter anymore._

Her knickers slid down to her thighs and she whimpered when Natsuki teased the edge of her wet folds with a finger, holding a burning gaze straight into Shizuru's eyes. _I want this._

She balanced on her heels as she quickly removed her underwear and pushed Natsuki down on her knees in front of her. _There are no strings between us; no phone numbers, no important details, nothing._

Natsuki dazedly propped herself on her knees and lifted Shizuru's skirt up. _There didn't have to be any consequences. _

But this was crazy. The alarm could ring any minute if they didn't hurry.

_If_ they didn't hurry.

Shizuru hooked a leg on Natsuki's shoulder, automatically bringing her face closer to her hot center. Natsuki immediately realised the situation and parted Shizuru's folds with her fingers and finally stroked a tongue along her slit. Shizuru let out a lengthy moan and firmly held the face between her legs. She could feel the hardened tongue caress her with every firm lick, heightening her passion and excitement as Natsuki worked fast to beat their time limit.

"Please," Shizuru moaned, breaking their little rule of silence. _Please don't make me regret this._

The only sounds in the elevator were moans and gasps and ragged breaths, and Natsuki uttered a low growl in response to Shizuru's plea. She slipped a finger inside while her tongue stroked Shizuru's hardened nub. She thrust in slowly at first, discovering that this might be Shizuru's first time as she felt the tightness slick with her desire. Shizuru gasped as she felt herself filled up with another finger and her legs shook every time Natsuki's tongue teased her deliciously. She tightened her grip on Natsuki's head and braced her legs as they were nearly going to give out.

"Na-tsu-ki...oh!" she sharply took in a breath as Natsuki reached up and pinched a nipple, sending another wave of desire straight down her center. She felt the tongue dance around her nub fast and felt her abdomen tighten, and she pushed Natsuki's head further, causing her teeth to graze against her clit that brought her dangerously close to the edge.

All Natsuki could breathe in was Shizuru's addicting scent and her tongue lapped up the equally addicting taste. She could feel Shizuru's legs trembling against her cheek and the leg on her shoulder dug a high-heeled shoe into her back. She was close, Natsuki could feel it.

"Yes," she could hear Shizuru gasp above her. The sight made her grow damp with desire; Shizuru throwing her head back as she moaned, the flush from her face extending down to her exposed chest and Natsuki tore her eyes away with difficulty. She quickened her pace until she felt the walls close in around her finger as Shizuru came hard, drawing out a long moan and bucking her hips into Natsuki's face and slumping her back weakly against the elevator wall.

Natsuki stood up quickly and held Shizuru in an embrace before the girl's shaking legs gave out. She licked her lips with satisfaction. She could still taste it.

"Shizuru." She felt her deep breaths against her ear slowly gaining a normal a pace. "You all right?"

Shizuru slipped her arms around Natsuki's neck and sighed contentedly.

"I'm okay," she leaned her head back and planted a soft kiss on Natsuki's lips and smiled. "More than okay."

Natsuki flushed. She could still see a spark of desire in Shizuru's eyes. She buttoned up Shizuru's blouse as she smiled back, and handed Shizuru something from her pocket.

"Put that back on. We should get out now before the alarm rings."

Shizuru bit her lip in worry, wondering if Reito and Mikoto were waiting too long.

**.**

"_Fujino-sama, Kanzaki-sama left this for you and wishes you a happy birthday."_

_The receptionist handed Shizuru her bag with a smile and left._

_Shizuru stifled a gape. She was still trying to take it all in before she realised that Reito and Mikoto had left without her. It would be Reito's idea, no doubt. She wanted to call him and tell him that it was a mistake, and that she wanted to go home before she lost her nerve. She didn't plan on staying at all. On the contrary she wanted to leave and never look back before she got into deep with Natsuki and complicate things._

_Her cell phone rang a text message and she rummaged her bag for it. _

"_I hope you like your present. Call me if you need anything._

_P.S. I'm with Yuuichi, so don't call me._

_-Reito"_

_Shizuru couldn't help but giggle. _

"_Is everything all right?" Natsuki asked as she looked around the empty lobby._

_Shizuru turned around to face her, losing her resolve altogether._

"_They left. I guess I'm staying," she said hesitantly._

_Natsuki blinked disbelievingly._

_Shizuru gave a playfully apologetic smile as she said, "You don't mind, do you?"_

_One night couldn't hurt, right?_

I can play you on your own game, Natsuki. I only hope I don't hurt myself.

**.**

**Saturday**

**07:40**

The bed was cold, and she overslept. Usually she would always wake up at 5 in the morning, whether it was a party night or a regular school day the day before. She felt like she partied a little too hard for her birthday night that she woke up more than two hours late. In her mind she vaguely remembered telling herself last night to wake up early so she could leave. Her arms and legs were aching slightly, but thankfully there was no hangover.

In fact, despite her slightly bruised body, she slept really _really_ well.

She pulled the blankets down and saw that she slept really really well in someone else's bed.

She also realised that she didn't drink at all last night, but she had definitely partied _real_ hard.

They partied in the elevator. They partied in another elevator. They partied on the couch, the floor, the kitchen counter. They even partied so hard in the bathroom!

Shizuru turned pink as she was reminded of everything that happened only a few hours ago. She was relieved that she was alone. _Although, the bed is really cold._

She quickly stood up and exited the bed and picked her clothes up from the floor. She had to do it fast, but she had a hard time since she just found her bra behind the desk lamp on the table. She tried to keep silent as she wondered whether Natsuki was still in the apartment that she could hear her walking around the room and getting dressed.

Shizuru sighed. Her chest felt heavy that she had to leave without Natsuki knowing. She was glad that Natsuki was not there when she woke up, or she would never have the courage to go. But her biggest fear was of Natsuki telling her to get out and leave after they've had a taste of each other last night.

She listened behind the door and found no sounds from the living room. She slipped on her shoes (which she found on a far corner under the bed, evidently from last night's action) and shouldered her bag while she quickly opened the door.

Shizuru refused to acknowledge any vivid memory and saw at the corner of her eye that Natsuki's helmet and keys were still on the table, but paid no mind. She rushed her way towards the elevators. The very elevators they violated. She shakily pressed the ground floor button as she entered. She closed her eyes firmly to prevent herself from remembering. She drew out a frustrated breath.

_There are no strings between us; no phone numbers, no important details…nothing._

Shizuru just couldn't bear the thought of Natsuki asking her to leave. So she had to leave first. She wanted to play Natsuki at her own game, but she never had the experience to play properly. But once you fall too deep, the game was over_._

_We may not have any strings between us, Natsuki, but you have my mind…and possibly my heart._

Shizuru promptly hailed a cab and struggled to shake off all the memories.

Back in the bedroom, a small piece of paper went unnoticed as it helplessly dropped to the carpeted floor of Natsuki's apartment. It fell down from the door in Shizuru's haste.

It said:

"Good morning Shizuru. I'll be back really soon, I just grabbed us some breakfast. I hope you stay. –Natsuki"

What Shizuru didn't know was that Natsuki wasn't playing anymore.

* * *

**.**

Note: **What do you think was that thing that Himeko refused to do? I myself wonder. Oh, for the love of plot!**


	8. You and I

A/N:** I just read the previous chapter again and noticed that the smexy elevator scene was awfully short! Tsch. I added just a tad to it. Go read it once more ;)**

**I edited the title of chapter 6. It's more appropriate now. I might change the title of chapter 7 as well, I don't know. I have another song in mind.**

**

* * *

  
**

**8. You and I (Medina [Spencer & Hill remix])**

_Nothing left for me to say_

_There's no more wicked games to play_

_It's time for me to walk away_

_I have no more time for you to hurt my feelings_

_Done enough to prove I'm all that I believe in_

_We are at the end, no more stupid lies_

**.**

_Natsuki was sitting up on the bed with an uncharacteristically wistful smile on her face._

_More unusually, she woke up several hours early of the usual time despite the fact that she hadn't slept that much._

_But Natsuki actually _smiling_ at seven in the morning and not telling anybody to get out of her apartment was already unusual enough._

_Her room was still in its typical disorder, but it was even messier now that there were clothes strewn about everywhere, and they were not her own. She smiled fondly at the mess._

_A gentle, sleepy sound brought her gaze back at the source of her happiness._

"_Ikezu…"_

'_She looks incredibly cute', Natsuki thought. She held back a chuckle as she heard Shizuru mumble in her sleep, and she felt her cheeks warm up at the memory of her saying the exact same thing when they did it for the fourth (or was it fifth?) time on the bed (or was that on the floor?) last night. Or this morning. Whichever._

_Natsuki was just too happy to think of the details. _

_She roamed her eyes on Shizuru's peacefully slumbering face and held back the urge to touch it. She didn't want to wake her yet. She wanted to savor the sight of her in her most vulnerable state, a thing Natsuki never thought she could witness, let alone seeing every inch of Shizuru's skin that she had so lovingly ravished many times just a few hours ago._

_She remembered last night when Shizuru playfully asked if she could stay. _

"I guess I'm staying. You don't mind do you?"

_She felt like she was forgiven of everything that she was; right at that moment that Shizuru chose to be with her, her dirty past felt like it was given absolution. She no longer felt like a monster, and Shizuru certainly didn't make her feel like one. Her teasing voice, her beautiful smile, and the way she nestled against her while they slept made her feel like a puppy eager to please its master, her motivation._

_But she knew last night wasn't enough. She wanted to please her for real, not just in bed. She wanted to give Shizuru a real reason to be trusted, to be forgiven, for herself to be worthy of a princess whom Natsuki never even imagined she could be with in many ways, many times._

_She wanted to start right now._

_With child-like eagerness, she gently placed a kiss on Shizuru's bare shoulder and got dressed as silently as she could. After taping a quick note to the door, she exited her apartment and went down to buy breakfast as a surprise for Shizuru._

**.**

**Komaba Campus**

**08:35**

"Shizuru, could you call up Tokiha? I need those drinks to be delivered soon for the bar," Haruka distractedly requested as she ordered several workers the organizing committee hired for the party to set up the place. She was certainly chipper today despite her partying last night, and she managed to pull everything together for tonight's event. Some parts of the large area were strewn with wires and stacks of speakers and several boxes which the workers diligently handled while Haruka commanded them around.

The interior of the Komaba campus auditorium looked unrecognizable as its walls were lined with dark silk fabric all over, and fitted with several sorts of lights and audio equipment. The huge screen behind the stage was test-running some hypnotizing visualisations that would go well with the music that would be playing later at the party. Shizuru was sitting at the disorganised bar and watched the commotion with a blank stare.

"Shizuru."

Haruka was tapping her foot and folding her arms impatiently as she observed Shizuru's unfocused air.

Shizuru merely turned her eyes to her friend. "Did you say something?" she asked distractedly.

Haruka clicked her tongue. "What's wrong with you? I saw you arrive at your apartment this morning in a freakin' taxicab. Did you crash your car or something?"

Shuzuru shook her head. "I didn't. It's nothing."

"Right." Haruka said dubiously and turned to her phone, texting a message. "You know if I wasn't so busy I'd force the matter out of you."

"You probably would." Shizuru sighed.

Haruka abruptly stopped texting. "What? No teasing now?" she looked incredulous. "First, you rode an icky cab this morning, then you volunteered to _supposedly_ help with the organizing, which is just weird," she rolled her eyes. "And now, you haven't given any of your annoying teases, not even when you saw me and Yukino at the balcony…" she trailed off with a blush. She looked at Shizuru sternly. "What is it? Did you get pregnant last night?"

"Haruka!" Shizuru exclaimed amusedly. "You don't get pregnant that quick, you know." Haruka's eyes widened.

"But no," Shizuru smiled sadly at her. "Nothing happened last night."

"What about last night, Shi-chan?"

Reito emerged behind them with a knowing smile at Shizuru.

Shizuru gave him a significant look to prevent him from saying anything that might divulge his little birthday present last night. He caught on and casually sat with them at the bar. But Haruka caught their secret exchange and many guesses kept popping into her head.

"The place looks good, Haruka-chan. Good work." He looked around interestedly as he deliberately sidetracked. Haruka was not deceived.

"Nice try, Reito. I know there's something you two aren't telling me," Haruka frowned while she continued to text message rapidly on her phone.

"Who is that you keep eagerly texting?" Shizuru attempted to change the subject again. Haruka glared at the both of them and pressed send.

"Nobody." She remarked sourly as she eyed the both of them warily. "Did you two get back together?"

Shizuru giggled as Haruka's guesses were getting sillier.

Reito waved a hand in denial and chuckled. "I was just with Yuuichi last night—"

"Do not tell me about it, please." Haruka finally followed the change of subject with horrified look. "Anyway Shizuru, would you call Tokiha for the drinks?" She turned to her phone ringing a message.

Reito laughed at Haruka's remark and said, "I've already given my gift to Shi-chan. It was kind of a last minute thing, but I'm very glad she liked it." He winked at a flushing Shizuru.

Haruka arched up a brow. "Oh? Well, I think she'll like my gift much better. I guarantee it. In fact," she grinned confidently as she shut her phone. "I just confirmed that it will arrive at the party tonight."

Shizuru vaguely heard Haruka's statement as she was pressing her phone to her ear.

"Mai-san, good morning."

"_Shizuru-san! Happy birthday!"_

"Thank you! That's sweet of you to remember," Shizuru smiled. "Haruka asked me to check up on the drinks she ordered for the party."

"_Oh, yes of course. The delivery van is on its way there. Tell Suzushiro-san that I apologise for the delay. I had to talk to Mikoto and ask if Natsuki took care of her all right."_

Mai had a purposeful tone when she said it and Shizuru noticed. She was silent for a while and Mai pressed on. _"Anyway, you're friends with Natsuki right?"_

_Friends._ Were they friends at all? You couldn't be in love with someone who wasn't your friend right?

"_I remember you were together at Zhang last Sunday,"_ Mai chirped.

"Hmm, yes. I believe so," Shizuru shortly replied.

"_That's great!"_ Mai cheerfully blurted. She paused thoughtfully over the phone. _"Shizuru-san, you are going to that party right?"_

"Yes, of course. Why do you ask?" Shizuru answered the odd question.

Mai chuckled. _"Oh, I was just confirm— asking,"_ she corrected awkwardly._ "I thought you'd be celebrating somewhere else. It would be great to see you on your birthday."_

Didn't she just celebrate her birthday last night? Many times? Twice in the elevators, once in the kitchen—

"Thank you Mai-san. I'll see you later tonight then."

Shizuru ended the call before she could do any more awkward pauses while talking to Mai. The girl had intentionally mentioned Natsuki's name and it left Shizuru pondering about its insinuations. She sighed and shook her head obstinately as she regretfully stopped her thoughts from bringing up any of the vivid and provocative memories she shared with Natsuki.

Reito noticed her actions and said, "Shizuru. Are you all right? You look…" he tilted his head as he observed her face. "…sad. Did something go wrong?" He lifted his brows up, indicating the night before while he was careful to not mention it while Haruka was nearby busily ordering people around.

Shizuru sighed and lowered her gaze. Did something go wrong? _No, last night was perfect._

"Just perfect," she said absently.

Reito asked quietly, "Did you leave her without saying goodbye?"

"Please, Reito. I don't want to think about it," Shizuru stood up from her seat defiantly, Reito's words hitting hard on her chest like an accusation. An accusation she was hurt and guilty of.

"Hey," Reito said gently and placed a hand on her arm. "Please tell me if she did something wrong." His brows knotted up in worry.

"She did nothing wrong, she was perfect. She treated me so…" _lovingly. Then why did you leave?_

"But I had to leave, Reito!" she searched Reito's face for justification, her guilt finally washing over her in full force. "I had to go before she would _let_ me leave…" she closed her eyes, not actually believing her own words, but at the same time dreading the gnawing fear in her heart that it would be true. "…just like she probably would with all the girls she sleeps with."

He pulled her into a hug before anybody could see her about to cry. "I'm sorry I got you into this."

Shizuru shook her head in his chest, fighting the tears. "No, I'm glad you did. I wanted it so bad," she whispered. "I just never expected to fall so fast…"

She quickly wiped the tears that threatened to fall. "I got myself into this," she smiled sadly. "But I don't regret it. I loved every minute of it."

Reito grinned. "Then I'm glad you did what you did before you got into deep. Once you try it, it's hard to get back. In my case, I don't think I can ever go straight again," he laughed heartily.

Shizuru laughed softly at what he meant. "Oh, tell me about it. I've never felt so alive since last night," she said pensively and sighed. "But I know I had to go, I just didn't want to get hurt."

Reito nodded assuredly. "You just did what you had to do."

_But did you ever think that Natsuki could have been hurt too?_

**.**

"_Yamada. Clear your schedule for the week."_

_Himeko was facing away as she opened her eyes in the darkness of Chikane's bedroom. Their bedroom._

"_I need you to work on something. I've already told my father that you'll be doing something for me."_

_She kept still and pretended to be asleep while she listened._

"_One of the men will deliver you a package with several pictures."_

_She fixed her eyes on the wall and saw Chikane's shadow, telling her that she was standing near the window._

"_Identify the bitch. Get all the details. I'll deal with her after that. You have a week."_

_She felt the sheets move as Chikane ended the call and joined her on the bed. Slender arms slid around her waist possessively, as if the phone call had something to do with it. Chikane should have known by now that every time she left the bed, Himeko would always wake up and miss her warmth._

_But her girlfriend's words were cold and imperative during the phone call. Just like every time she would speak to everyone else._

"_You're mine, Himeko." The only time Chikane's voice would soften was when she spoke to her, as she whispered gently now in her ear._

_She held back a sigh and closed her eyes in frustration and thought, 'I guess even after several rounds of sex you still haven't forgotten about it, Chikane.'_

_Of course her jealousy was understandable, but she didn't have to track down whomever Himeko had slept with when they broke up. Chikane had her share of flings as well and that made the one night Himeko had with Natsuki Kuga look insignificant. That displeased Himeko no doubt, but she didn't have to deal with Chikane's previous flings too. She didn't want to. She was just glad they were okay now. Being together again was all that mattered._

"_No one touches you but me."_

_But apparently, it wasn't enough for Chikane._

**.**

Nothing. Not a trace, not even a note. Shizuru was gone.

Instead of surprising Shizuru, the girl had surprised her instead. Her pathetic note lay creased beside the door. Her fist tightened at the empty bed and the all too empty apartment.

Natsuki stormed towards her kitchen and angrily threw all the food in the bin.

"God! Not even the decency to say goodbye!" she slammed her fist on the counter and grit her teeth as she remembered everything they did on that very counter.

_Decency? Wouldn't you be the last person to talk about that?_

The snide voice in her head taunted her and a twinge of shame hit her chest. She was still her old self, still a pariah as opposed to Shizuru's bright and shiny world. After all, Shizuru just left her, hadn't she? She wanted to laugh disdainfully; to think this morning she had genuinely felt healed by Shizuru's mere presence. Now that liberating feeling was gone without a trace, just like Shizuru.

"Damn it," she sighed in frustration as she thought about how desperate she must have sounded in the note. She could still feel Shizuru's skin beneath her fingers and her taste lingered on her tongue. She could still hear Shizuru's every moan and every breath as she sprawled beneath her while Natsuki moved intimately above. She could still envision every vivid scene they shared, every heated moment, every time Shizuru gasped out her name and came.

"I didn't do anything wrong," she muttered and sunk to the floor dejectedly, shutting her eyes as the nerves behind her eyeballs pricked painfully as a sign of tears to come. She knew she wasn't one to talk about being polite after spending a night with a girl, but last night wasn't an ordinary night and Shizuru wasn't a random girl. She wanted her to stay, goddamnit, and the message was quite clear not only in her note, but also in the way she loved her endlessly last night. She actually felt happy and hopeful that Shizuru wanted to be with her. She thought Shizuru felt the same, but no; she left and dumped Natsuki's note on the floor.

The tears flowed freely down her pallid cheeks before she could stop herself. She swiped at them angrily and closed her eyes for a while. Then the phone on her pocket vibrated and she stood up from the floor to read the message. It was from Haruka Suzushiro who wanted to check if she was still up for tonight's gig. She replied with a brief yes; she decided that everything had to end now. She would face Chikane Himemiya, if ever she would show up. She would face Shizuru, if ever she would even acknowledge her presence there. Who the fuck cared what would happen? Now that she actually did something right, nobody fucking cared.

She scrolled through her cell's phonebook and her heart thumped while staring at Shizuru's number. Mai was nice enough to give it to her after she played videogames with Mikoto, but she never used it. She decided that the probably never will.

She swiftly opened each of her cabinets until she found a small ziplock with two blunts left. She strode across the living room and into her room and crashed on her bed. She lit one up and chose to forget. _Forget about your life, forget about last night, forget about motivation, and forget about Shizuru._

Just forget.

**.**

**Komaba Campus**

**21:10**

She could hear music pumping inside the auditorium while she waited for Reito and Tate to exit their car. The party would just be starting. Haruka and Yukino were already inside. At the far side of the parking lot, she could see Chie Hallard and her girlfriend step out of their car and Chie waved at her. Shizuru waved back and smiled, but she wondered why Natsuki's manager was here.

"Ready to go inside, Shizuru-san?" Tate asked as he and Reito emerged from their car and discreetly parted their linked hands as they neared Shizuru.

Shizuru smiled knowingly at him while her eyes flicked briefly at his hand. "Yes, I think so," she straightened her outfit and slipped her car keys inside the pocket of her dress.

"Yuuichi, I think I left my phone in the car. Could you get it please?" Reito smiled affectionately at Tate and the latter mumbled blushingly as he headed back to the car.

Shizuru raised an eyebrow at Reito teasingly. "Did you leave your phone on purpose?"

Reito smiled consentingly. "I wanted to ask if you saw Himemiya-san parked near the entrance. I think she was negotiating with the guards," he said quietly. "Apparently, she's trying to get her father's men inside the campus. Did Haruka invite her?" he asked worriedly.

Shizuru shook her head. "If she did, she would have told us. Maybe someone for the organising committee did. Although I don't think her father's men were invited," she said. "Why do you look so worried?"

Reito slightly grimaced. "I was thinking about Haruka's surprise for you," he said. Before Shizuru could ask, he continued, "I saw you waving at Hallard-san. Isn't it a bit odd that she's here?"

Shizuru shrugged, refusing to think of the obvious. "Maybe one of her talents is DJ-ing."

"Hmm. We'll find out soon, won't we?" Reito said as Tate came back with a frown on his face.

Shizuru headed towards the entrance with Reito and Tate arguing lightly behind her: "Reito, your phone isn't in the car." "Oh yes, it's actually with me." "Then why did you let me get it?" "I'm sorry I forgot Yuuichi-kun."

Her gait was stiff as she walked in her high-heeled boots towards the door. Her ears picked up the song **(1) **playing inside and instantly recognised it.

"Ara." She deadpanned. She froze behind the doors. _That song…How could I forget…_

"_Mind if I play something?" Natsuki turned around from the mixers to face her with a smile._

_Shizuru tilted her head playfully while she lay naked on the couch. "Make it quick and get back here."_

"_Hai, Fujino-sama," Natsuki said as she put the song on repeat and quickly went back to Shizuru._

_Natsuki leaned back against the couch and pulled Shizuru on her lap. She traced the area between her bare breasts with her nose and trailed her lips on the skin. They kissed leisurely, exploring each other's mouths sensually slow, the lazy beat droning throughout the room setting their pace. Shizuru was stroking Natsuki's neck with delicate fingers and Natsuki was caressing Shizuru's sides with smooth hands. Shizuru vaguely wondered if this would be their third round for tonight, and any thought suddenly vanished as she felt Natsuki kissing the spot below her breast, her voice low and husky as she sang the words to the song._

"…_I'm too proud for love…" Natsuki licked under her breast while her hands played with her backside. Shizuru closed her eyes and listened._

"_It's you I'm thinking of…" she softly kissed a nipple. Shizuru squirmed and thrust her breast to Natsuki's lips for more. Natsuki briefly snickered and continued singing._

"_A little bit…" she teased her nipple with a small lick. "A little bit…" She licked it again and brought her lips up to Shizuru's in a brief kiss. "A little bit in love with you."_

_Her deep green eyes stared straight at Shizuru's own in a heated gaze. Shizuru wiped off the stunned flicker in her eyes and held Natsuki's face and kissed her hard, refusing to believe it._

"Shizuru?"

Shizuru drew out a shaky breath and felt her cheeks warming up. She turned to Reito's inquisitive expression. The fear, the pain, the dread in her heart crashed down on her senses.

Natsuki was here. And apparently so was Chikane.

* * *

**(1)** "**Little Bit (remix)" by Lykke Li featuring Drake. **This is probably my favorite song ever.


	9. Reason For Love

A/N: I love you for all the reviews. I hope this chapter is good enough.

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**LIGHTS AND MUSIC**

**9. Reason For Love (Nick Kamamera feat. Phelipe [radio edit])**

_You gotta find love back and change your life_

_Find a reason why, open up inside_

**.**

_As soon as Shizuru entered her flat, she decided to get rid of the lingering smell on skin and take a nice long bath. She hoped it would be enough to ease her mind; she was still ridden with guilt and fear after what she did this morning, unsure if it was the right decision. Maybe if she entirely forgot everything that happened last night, she wouldn't be so distressed, but the slight ache between her legs was a stubborn reminder._

_She stood naked in front of the full mirror in the large bathroom, and her eyes widened in astonishment at her reflection._

_She could see herself flush from the face down to the neck as she saw all the marks on her body. Eleven lovely bite marks and small bruises to be exact._

_Well, what did she expect? She had kept asking Natsuki for more last night. The fiery attraction between them only grew stronger after the second time in the elevator, and when they proceeded to desecrate every corner of Natsuki's apartment. It was as if Natsuki awakend something in her. And to think it was Shizuru's first time…Done many times._

_She could still remember the way Natsuki had made each mark on her torso with her mouth, the bruises on her limbs made by rough movements. A spot of crimson between her breasts was made when they did it on the couch. The smudge of bluish green on her left thigh happened when they did it against a wall._

_A shiver ran down her spine and made her skin tingle; she hadn't expected herself to be the type who liked it rough. She also didn't expect her first time to be with a girl, but she had anticipated it ever since she met Natsuki._

_Another thing she'd never imagined was falling fast and hard. And it had to be for someone infamous for her promiscuity. Because of that notion, she had fled this morning from Natsuki's apartment without saying goodbye, afraid that she'd be chucked out now that Natsuki had slept with her. She wasn't sure she could take it if that happened._

_After the water filled up the tub, she stepped into and submerged her body, the opaque liquid concealing the marks on her skin. She needed to forget last night, as it made her wonder aimlessly what Natsuki could have felt about it. What was Natsuki doing now? Is she disappointed that I left? Is she angry? Maybe she doesn't care. Perhaps it was just an ordinary night for her. Possibly she's found another girl right now._

_Perhaps I'll never see her again._

**.**

"Oh. My. God. I can't believe DJ Kuga is playing. It's just so unexpected!"

"I thought a band was going to play for us, but this is just _way _better."

A bunch of excited students passed by as Tate and Reito proceeded to the dance floor. Shizuru's heart sped up its beating as she instantly recognised the person on stage behind the DJ booth.

"You're early, great!" Haruka smiled excitedly as she hugged her. Shizuru stiffly hugged her in return.

"Happy Birthday, Shi-chan!" She greeted and turned them both to the direction of the stage. "Did you see your—oh, my _present _just disappeared to the control room. I told her she couldn't smoke in here," Haruka frowned slightly, unusually not too angry about it.

Shizuru sighed. _I'm not sure I'll be getting my present this time._

Haruka didn't seem to notice Shizuru's expression, still feeling confident about her surprise. "Well, could you go and remind her of the auditorium rules hmm? But don't be too long," Haruka smiled and winked suggestively before heading to the bar.

Shizuru was silent but gave a slight smile at Haruka's surprising behavior. But then she grew nervous when she crossed the dance floor gradually filling up with people, and reached the stage. Climbing up the shorts steps, she went towards the back where the control room was. She tentatively knocked on the closed door before slowly swinging it open.

Natsuki wasn't smoking. She was shuffling around, gathering several records in her arm and didn't look up. Shizuru swallowed the lump in her throat before speaking.

"Natsuki."

Natsuki gave a slight nod and went flipping through her CD case. "Hey," she said while barely even looking at Shizuru.

Shizuru watched Natsuki walking about the room while clearly avoiding the sight of her. She couldn't remember what she was supposed to say. The memorable song playing outside and the furious beating of her heart drowned out her own voice from her ears as she said, "I didn't know you were going to be here. I…"

"Well," Natsuki grunted while she seemed to be immersed in examining her mixing equipment. "It's not as if you didn't have all the chances to ask," she shrugged nonchalantly and continued, "I can't chat long. I need to play music, not with feelings." She strode past Shizuru and swung the door open.

"Natsuki, if this is about happened this morning—"

"What _happened_?" Natsuki said in sham forgetfulness as she faced her. "I'm sorry, but I don't seem to remember because I got too _stoned_ to do so."

Natsuki looked down and shut her mouth in slight embarrassment, realising that it was immature of her to blatantly pretend. She was ashamed of wanting Shizuru to learn how fucked up she got doing drugs again after she left her. It wasn't right to blame Shizuru for her own bad decisions but her temper was preventing her from being fair.

Shizuru blinked and a pang of guilt struck inside her. "I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye," she managed to say. "But I was scared because I just _knew_ you were going to let me leave," she said, her voice growing thick with emotion.

Natsuki growled in frustration. "What the hell made you think that? Was it the way I fucked you all night?! Or that I tried to change myself just for you?" she shot at her.

"How the hell would I know that you wanted me to stay?" Shizuru shot back and inwardly cringed at how she couldn't contain her language. She didn't like how Natsuki put last night, and that was exactly what she was afraid of. She steeled her gaze and said, "You don't exactly convey the 'serious relationship' type!"

"Well, you didn't act like a girl who could break my heart, but you did anyway!" Natsuki nearly shouted.

"I didn't know you had a heart!" Shizuru rejoined but immediately regretted it, her ire causing her consideration to flounder.

Natsuki's face flushed in a mixture of emotions, and she dug her hand inside her pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper, brandishing it in front of Shizuru's face. "Remember this?" she uttered lowly.

She grabbed Shizuru's wrist, looking intently, her bloodshot eyes expressing a blend of anger and hurt. She jammed the paper into Shizuru's palm and said, "Maybe you should read it again. And then you can come and tell me who the hell here is heartless."

Shizuru was stunned as she watched Natsuki exit the room with heavy strides. She stared at the ball of paper in her hand and smoothed it out to read. Her throat suddenly went dry. Guilt tugged at her chest again so strong that she almost rushed outside to the stage to follow Natsuki. But right now she couldn't, as she could hear her already mixing live.

She read the note again. The tears pricked at the corners of her eyes at how sweet it was. She couldn't believe she missed it this morning. Natsuki thought she had read it and disregarded her request to stay. _She wanted me to stay._

She sighed in frustration and the tears fell. She wiped them away hastily and looked outside the door. There was Natsuki, working at the mixers and glaring at everything. The floor grew crowded and some of them even chanted Natsuki's name when she started playing. The lights flashed crazily in the darkened room as the Darius and Finlay **(1) **track played, and the large screen on the stage illuminated Natsuki's back. She didn't seem to care that Shizuru was still behind her.

She stepped out of the room and crossed the stage discreetly while glancing a few times at Natsuki. The DJ caught her while she turned to her laptop and pretended not to notice.

Shizuru choked back another wave of tears. She wanted to run to her and apologise on her knees, but stood back. Now was not the time. She balanced on her trembling legs while she stepped down the stage and headed towards the doors. She didn't want to see Haruka so eager to ask if she liked her surprise and decided to avoid her.

She got outside and shut the door, blocking out the music and the crowd's excited shouting. The cold air instantly chilled her as opposed to the heat from inside. She attempted to warm up her arms with her hands and unconsciously tried to calm herself from crying. Her shoulders were stiff from suppressing the sobs that threatened to burst, yet people didn't seem to notice as they were eagerly heading towards the entrance and some of them recognised her.

She tried her best to be polite to them but her train of thought was somewhere else. She was angry at herself now for being so stupid as to miss the note. Natsuki had looked so wounded in their argument, and it was all her fault; she was a coward for not daring to believe that Natsuki felt deeply for her. It was not like Natsuki was pretending to be sweet last night, but Shizuru had thought so anyway, bringing in another round of sobs to suppress.

Then another problem presented itself as she recognised a white convertible arrogantly rolling in to park right in front of the entrance, its rims gleaming in the dark. A black van followed close behind and parked right next to Chikane's car. Two men in bright suits stepped out of the van and leaned casually against it.

"Shizuru!" Chikane exclaimed as she exited the vehicle in a beautiful short dress, but Shizuru was too alarmed to appreciate it.

Her old friend climbed up the short steps with a wide smile and hugged her. "Hey, Happy Birthday! Finally I got to see you again. I miss you," she squeezed. Chikane's bubbly attitude certainly betrayed her dark capabilities.

Shizuru squeezed back, trying to mirror Chikane's excitement and managed a smile, "Thank you. I missed you too, Chikane. Where's Himeko?"

Chikane flipped her long midnight hair and shrugged. "She's doing a photoshoot." She smiled at Shizuru again and dropped the subject, "So, I heard a hot DJ is playing. I really want to meet her."

In her hidden panic Shizuru could have sworn Chikane had a deadly glint in her eyes as she said it. Her mind was reeling as to what Chikane's hidden intentions were. Knowing her, she would probably confront Natsuki about the whole ordeal with Himeko. She wasn't entirely sure, but the cold fear in her stomach instinctively told her that something wrong was going to happen. What else were those two thugs here for?

"Ah, well she isn't that good," Shizuru stalled nervously. "I mean, this party is lame! I wanted to ditch, there's the ZoukOut at Yoyogi Park and I want you to come with me!" She hid her anxiety while grabbing Chikane's arm to walk her back towards the car. The men at the van merely smirked.

Chikane giggled. "Shizuru! How could you say Haruka's party is lame?" She pulled a mumbling Shizuru to stop and said, "Stop being silly, let's get inside," she grinned and headed towards the door. Shizuru glanced at the two thugs, too glad that they weren't coming along.

"See? The place is awesome!" Chikane smirked at Shizuru disbelievingly and took her arm. "Look, there's Haruka. I miss that party monster," she laughed and dragged them both to the bar where Haruka was sitting with Yukino.

Shizuru sat anxiously at the bar while Haruka and Yukino were busily reacquainting with Chikane. She inwardly gasped when Chikane was making fleeting glances at the stage.

"Shizuru-san." Behind the bar, Mai was looking worriedly at her. She beckoned Shizuru to lean across the bar top to whisper in her ear. "I didn't know Himemiya-san was going to be here. Do you know that she's after Natsuki?" she asked nervously.

Shizuru's eyes widened, her fears were confirmed. "How do you know that?"

Mai pursed her lips and pretended to be busy with a drink. She leaned over casually and whispered, "You know about how Natsuki fooled around with Himeko, right?" Shizuru nodded and Mai continued, "Well, we both know how Chikane's like. Natsuki used to work for her father. If she finds that out, Natsuki could be in big trouble."

Shizuru drew out a breath as she processed all that Mai said.

"I think I need a drink," she muttered and glanced at her side. Chikane was still preoccupied while chatting with Haruka.

Mai slammed two shot glasses in front of her and said, "Your friend needs a drink too," Mai quirked an eyebrow at her.

Shizuru looked confused and was about to ask, then Mai added, "I'll be sure to keep it coming."

"Shizuru, what are you having? Drinks are on me," Chikane said enthusiastically while not noticing the exchange Shizuru had with Mai. "I haven't seen you guys in so long! Damn, we have some catching up to do."

Shizuru glanced briefly at Mai who nudged at the shot glasses, as if suggesting something. Then Shizuru understood. "Ara, you're certainly right, Chikane. How about we have a little drinking game?"

**.**

Natsuki's heart was pounding as she saw Chikane Himemiya enter with Shizuru. Her hands were sweating as she turned a record on the deck with her fingers.

She was swearing nervously while watching Chikane at the bar talking to Shizuru's friends. They were all friends. Natsuki swallowed while she flipped another disc to play to distract herself.

Every so often she would glance up. She saw Chie nodding up at her. Aoi waved and she nodded back. Anh Lu was near the stage chatting up a girl. Some guys tried to catch her eye, but they were met with a glare. She caught Shizuru staring at her and tore her eyes away. She noticed Mai grimacing worriedly at her while she worked on a drink.

Natsuki shook her head and removed all the distractions. For over an hour she never looked up and blocked out all of her thoughts as she played the synth on a Fedde Le Grand track **(2)**. Every minute ticked by agonisingly slow as she poured all her effort to concentrate. It was as if she woke up from her drug-induced slumber back to the oppressive world of her sickeningly glamorous job and all the problems that went with it.

After another thirty minutes of nonstop mixing, her resolved faltered. She looked up to see what Shizuru was doing, but she wasn't facing her anymore. Instead, Chikane was staring straight at her while she downed a shot.

She suddenly winked in her direction.

Natsuki involuntarily shivered. The gnawing thought that Chikane would confront her any time now made it difficult for her to focus. And then there was her cell vibrating wildly in her pocket. She muttered in frustration and yanked her headphones off to check it.

Yamada was calling but she ignored it. There was a text from Mai. Another text from Chie.

She ignored them all. She knew what they were all going to say.

_This could be your last show, Kuga._

She wanted to run and get out. Yamada trying to call her. Mai warning her of Chikane. Chikane watching her. Chie who was pressuring her. The crowd shouting her name. She wanted to leave it all behind.

_But once you're at the party, it's hard to leave._

**.**

"Ara, I don't think I can take any more!" Shizuru exclaimed. She feigned disgust as she dropped the shot glass on the bar top.

Chikane giggled. "Shizuru this was your idea. Don't tell me you lose already!"

"I accept my defeat," Shizuru said dramatically and looked over at her friend. She felt guilty that her reason for starting the drinking game was to get Chikane drunk. And she succeeded; Chikane was now leaning heavily against her with an arm around her shoulders and the dangerous glint in her eyes was gone. Shizuru mentally thanked the gods that her own alcohol tolerance was high, otherwise she wouldn't have survived this idea to sidetrack Chikane from doing whatever she planned to do to Natsuki.

"Aww, that's too bad," Chikane pouted. "Well, I think it's about time I meet the DJ. I've been dying to talk to her!"

Shizuru laughed nervously, her plan had taken a slight turn. "Chikane, I don't think she's up for that right now. I mean, she is still playing. Why don't we join Haruka and Yukino dancing over there?" she held Chikane's waist and tried to lead her to the dance floor.

"You're being really silly again, Shiz," Chikane stopped them both and smiled amusedly at Shizuru. "C'mon, don't you want to meet her too? She's really hot!"

"Ara, what would Himeko say?"

"Oh, be a sport Shizuru!"

"But she's still a bit…busy," Shizuru weakly countered, her voice drifting off as Chikane merely laughed again and skipped off towards the stage. She followed miserably; even after consuming copious amounts of alcohol, Chikane still managed to remember Natsuki. Shizuru's only comfort was that Chikane was probably not thinking of anything harmful to do to Natsuki anymore.

"Hey, Kuga! I wanna meet you!" Chikane exclaimed and grabbed Natsuki's arm to lug her away from the mixers.

Shizuru would have laughed if she wasn't so worried. She watched Natsuki remove her headphones with a surprised frown as she was being dragged towards the back of the stage.

"Hey, wait a second!" Natsuki protested and stopped the both of them when they reached the control room door. Chikane turned around to face her. Her eyes were unfocused and she had just said something silly. Wasn't this girl supposed to be ruthless and intimidating and not _drunk_? This was not at all how she expected to be confronted. She glanced inquiringly at Shizuru, a small blush forming on her face. However her gaze was cut off by Chikane coming closer.

"Well, now I know why Himeko wouldn't tell me who you are," she said in sing-song manner, tracing her finger along Natsuki's arm and leaning close to her face. Natsuki's eyes widened and she continued, "Because you're so damn hot, she knew I'd _punish_ you myself," she smiled deviously.

_Okay, I should have known a drunken Chikane would do this. _Shizuru paled.

_Well, shit. Did she just hit on me?_ Natsuki pulled back her arm and was about to retort when Shizuru hastily stepped in.

"Ara, Chikane I haven't introduced you," she said and moved closer to Natsuki. "This is my girlfriend, Natsuki Kuga."

Natsuki suppressed a gape. Chikane laughed incredulously.

"What? You're joking right?" she volleyed her eyes between them. "I know you're straight Shiz."

"Not anymore," Shizuru shrugged and took Natsuki's hand. "Right, sweetie?"

"O-of course," said Natsuki quickly replied.

Chikane raised her brows at them both. "Don't ruin this for me Shizuru," she laughed and turned to Natsuki. "Come with me, Na-tsu-ki," she grabbed Natsuki's other hand.

Shizuru almost glared at her and yanked Natsuki's hand back. "My girlfriend is staying with me, Chikane."

Chikane frowned as if her sobriety was regained after Shizuru pushed her hand away. "Don't tell me you're really with this bitch who touched my Himeko?" she scoffed.

Natsuki growled but Shizuru held her back. "So now you want to touch her too? Please Chikane," Shizuru sighed. "Let it go before I tell Himeko about this."

Chikane was taken aback. "You wouldn't. She won't listen to you," she drawled.

"Well, it's not that hard to believe, I think," Shizuru said. "I've known you for years. I know how many times you've hurt her. And the one time Himeko hurt you, you just couldn't take it."

Chikan folded her arms wordlessly and sighed. Her alcohol-addled mind had to admit Shizuru was right.

"You broke up that time, so she didn't cheat on you," Shizuru explained. "I know you were planning to hurt Natsuki, but you're just hurting Himeko all over again."

Natsuki was overwhelmed by the complete turn of events. Here was Shizuru defending her, handling the situation in the best way possible. She was still holding her hand, and Natsuki squeezed it gently in gratitude.

"Well, damnit. I wasn't really going to hurt her anymore. You know how I am when I'm drunk!" Chikane muttered sheepishly. Shizuru's words were finally sinking in, and her demeanor significantly softened.

"So I'll forgive you for hitting on Natsuki," Shizuru smiled, effectively lifting the tension in the air.

Chikane rolled her eyes and waved a hand dismissively. "Fine, fine. Just don't tell on me, okay? Himeko will kill me," she pleaded and draped an arm around Shizuru's shoulders. "God, I'm smashed. I wanna go home to Himeko now."

**.**

After Shizuru helped Chikane into her car (in the backseat, she made sure), she was now waving goodbye to the retreating vehicle. She giggled when Chikane suddenly sat up to wave back at her.

"I am not playing drinking games with you anymore, Shizuru!" she yelled with a drunken slur, her voice drifted in volume as the car reached a distance.

Shizuru laughed in relief. _I hope I never have to again._

She sighed and congratulated herself for pulling it off. She didn't expect Chikane to act that way towards Natsuki, however, but she should have known. Still, it was better to have her hit on Natsuki than to hurt her. She would thank Mai later for the somewhat ill-advised but brilliant idea. For now, the note was still clutched in her hand while she contemplated on how to apologise to Natsuki.

Meanwhile, Natsuki stood outside the door after letting Anh Lu take over the party for the rest of the night. She was watching Shizuru still lingering at the parking lot even after Chikane left, hugging herself from the cold.

She was still feeling heady with relief. The thought of Chikane coming after her was no longer a problem. All because of what Shizuru had done. Natsuki thought that Shizuru didn't want anything to do with her anymore. But just moments ago she went out of her way to save her, pretending to be her girlfriend, and she was probably the one who made Chikane drunk.

She walked quietly to where Shizuru was standing and thought maybe Shizuru didn't realise yet that she was altering her former ways. Everyone knew how she wasn't interested in relationships, and that scared Shizuru. She could see that now. Maybe a note just wasn't enough to prove it.

Shizuru's back was still turned when Natsuki approached her. She slid her hands around her waist and hugged her, asking "Are you cold?"

Shizuru was a little startled but she didn't resist the unexpected embrace. "I-I'm all right."

"You're shivering," Natsuki noted and held her tighter. Shizuru didn't reply but leaned back into the hug.

"Shizuru."

"Yes?"

Natsuki rested her chin on Shizuru's shoulder and asked casually, "Did you make her drunk?"

She grinned when she felt Shizuru's cheek growing warm against her face. Natsuki suddenly had the strong urge to kiss her.

"Ah, yes I did. It seemed like a good idea," Shizuru mumbled. "Well, it worked, didn't it?"

Natsuki chuckled softly. "You did that to your friend, for me?"

"Yes, my friend who was probably going to hurt you instead of seduce you if I didn't let her drink that much," Shizuru said wryly and laughed.

Natsuki turned Shizuru around to face her. "There's one more thing, that if you didn't do, she would probably really try to seduce me."

Shizuru dropped her gaze to ground and said, "I wonder how many times we have to pretend that we're together."

"I wish we didn't have to pretend."

Natsuki tugged at Shizuru's hand for her to come closer and encircled her arms around her waist in another embrace. "I missed you this morning," she playfully whined and tried to lighten up the mood, but Shizuru looked at her apologetically.

"Natsuki…I'm sorry," she whispered and held Natsuki's face in her hands. "I didn't mean what I said to you earlier. I wanted to stay," she said and bit her lip. "I just wasn't sure that you wanted me to."

"I understand now why you left," Natsuki said, looking at the ground. "I'm not exactly the serious relationship type, like you said." She grimaced slightly and leaned her face into Shizuru's hands. Shizuru opened her mouth to speak but Natsuki silenced her with a shake of the head and dropped a kiss on her palm.

"But I wanted to change that when I met you. I want to completely start over. I'll quit my job, quit all my bad habits, and just be with you. I want to be worth it for you."

Shizuru stared at her for a moment, then brought her face closer and kissed her firmly, apologising with her lips on Natsuki's own. She had no idea that Natsuki felt this way, immensely delighting her and at the same time saddening her that they had to go all through everything that happened to find out. Natsuki seemed to have forgiven her as her kisses were now wandering all over Shizuru's face.

Shizuru sighed contentedly and hugged Natsuki's waist. "I want to be with you too, Natsuki. I feel so stupid that I missed your note. It was so sweet. I really would have stayed."

Natsuki pulled back to face her. "You missed it?"

Shizuru nodded sadly against her shoulder. "I didn't think I'd see you again. Would you let me make it up to you?"

"I should be the one asking that, Shizuru," Natsuki wistfully smiled. "But there are a lot of things you should know about me. Like how I was really scared that Himemiya was after me, because I used to work for her father. Maybe she'll still come after me when she finds that out."

Shizuru then remembered Natsuki's tattoo, only realising now that it was a symbol for the Himemiya Oyabun. But that didn't deter her; if Natsuki used to work for Chikane's father, it meant that she also worked for Shizuru's. But she didn't want to divulge that now when she looked up at Natsuki's face etched with worry, and kissed her again to ease her. Natsuki closed her eyes and sighed.

"I won't let anything happen to you," Shizuru assured. "Even if it means another drinking game with Chikane," she joked.

Natsuki laughed but quickly turned serious. It was all worth it that she went through every agonising moment in her life with Shizuru there to remind her that it wasn't too late to turn a new leaf. It was Shizuru who made her realise that she'd been living her life wrong, and taught her the lessons that she was previously afraid to learn; the pain of rejection, the uncertainties of falling in love, the consequences of her recklessness and her apathy towards other people. She no longer felt like that person. Shizuru would be the first to see all those changes in her life. She would make sure of it.

Shizuru was smiling at her, completely unaware of her effect over Natsuki. She tenderly held Shizuru's hand against her chest, finding no words for how grateful she was.

"You know this time," Natsuki said as she played with Shizuru's fingers. "It was you who really saved me."

* * *

**(1)** **"Do It All Night (Michael Mind remix)" by Darius and Finlay. **This one's for Ashley (**1eightydf**). Oh, and cool song too ;)

**(2) "Get This Feeling" by Fedde Le Grand.** Natsuki playing this track looks so hot in my mind. Damn.


End file.
